He went to the window, and they soon heard him laugh aloud. "Good
news?" asked Mohr, who was absently playing with the leaves of the
palms.
"Excellent! And it comes just at the right time. I'll set out on my
journey this very day, for you're right, Fritz, the air of this city
doesn't agree with me. I must beg you Heinrich, to take my farewell
messages to the little house on the lagune and to Frau Valentin.
I--whether I ever set foot in the tun again, or trouble one of you to
send my movables after me--at any rate, I'll write as soon as I know
how matters stand where I am going, and whether I shall remain. And
now--perhaps you'll excuse me--the train leaves in two hours, and I
still have all my arrangements to make."
"We yield to force," said Marquard dryly, "and I dispense with all the
formalities of leave taking the more willingly, as I'm sure all this is
mere bustle, and we shall not get rid of you so quickly."
He was not mistaken. Two hours after, Edwin still sat as unprepared for
traveling as before, gazing at the letter which lay open before him, as
if he expected to discover some other meaning in the lines, than that
which the words conveyed. They ran as follows:
"My Dear Friend!
"_The time has expired, the three days have passed without my seeing
you again, I had scarcely hoped that the disclosure I made to you
through your brother--give my kindest regards to him; I envy you the
happiness of possessing such a relative--that any word from me could
produce any impression upon you since I can retract nothing, cannot
deceive you and myself._
"_I have ceased to desire to exist and have exhausted my means to do
so. You know that with me both amount to very much the same thing. I
cannot understand how people can remain attached to a life, whose
conditions are limited to simple existence. And yet--I must suffer more
than I yet suffer, physical and spiritual hunger must gnaw still more
sharply, ere I can bring myself to try the last resource. Meantime the
pain is dull, and sometimes blended with the hope that it may not last
forever. So I wish to try whether I shall be better amid entirely new
surroundings. The old countess has invited me to spend some time at her
castle; she came for me in person, and little as I like her, I have
still less reason to be over fastidious. When you read these lines I
shall be on the way._
"_I can scarcely ask you to write to me. But if you do not prefer to
utterly forget me, pity me more than you condemn. I shall never cease
to remember you._
"Toinette."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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