The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
One writer, (Ibbotson on Quadrupeds, vol. viii. p. 381,) says,
that "Shee was no other than a female of highe ranke and singular
kinde harte, who for that shee had a _feline_ dysposition myghtelie
affected Masterre Whyttingtone"--"which mistake in the orthography,"
says my learned friend Backhouse (who seldom errs), "_feline_ being
put for _feeling_--has deluded many into the belief, that it was in
truth a four-footed, whiskered, mouse-catching Cat." This ingenious
conjecture is supported by the other obvious errors of the same
nature _in loc. citat._ and not a little validated by a curious
ballad of the times, which is to be found at this moment in the
British Museum (Messalina 2.) and of which I subjoin a copy:--
ANN EXCEEDINGE, EXACTE, AND EXCELLENTE GOODE BALLADE, WRITTEN BY MEE
GEOFFRY LYDGATE, UPONNE MASTERRE WHYTTINGTONE HYS CATTE.
Yee Cytyzens of Lundun toune,
Ande Wyves so faire and fatte,
Beholde a gueste of high renoune!
Grete Whyttingtone hys Catte!
Ye kynge hathe ynn hys towre off state
Beares, lyones and alle thatte;
But hee hathe notte a beste soe grate
Ass Whyttingtone hys Catte!
This Catte dothe notte a catte appear,
Beeynge toe bigge forre thatte,
But herre attendaunts alle doe weare
Some tokyn off a Catte;
Ye one hathe whyskerres, thick ass burrs,
Moste comelye toe looke atte:--
Anoder weares a gowne of furrs,
Ye lyverye off ye Catte!
Shee dothe notte creepe along ye floores,
But standes or else lyes flatte:
Whyles they must gambole onne all fours
Whoe wyshe to please ye Catte!
A conynge monkeye off ye lawe,
Ass bye ye fyre he satte,
Toe pick hiys nuts oute, used ye pawe
Off Whyttingtone hys Catte!
But Whyttingtone discovered playne
Whatte this vyle ape was atte;
Whoe fayledde thus hys nuttes toe gayne,
And onely synged ye Catte.
Thenne Whyttingtone ynn gorgeous state,
Syttynge wythoute his hatte,
Broughte toe hys house atte Grovner-gate
Thys moste yllustrious Catte.
She ys so graciouse and soe tame
Alle menne may strooke and patte;
But yt ys sayde, norre mayde norre dame,
Have dared toe see thatte Catte.
Fulle hugelye gladde she seemeth, whenne
They brynge herre a grete ratte,
But styll moe gladde atte katchynge menne
Ys Whyttingtone hys Catte.
A Catte, they saye, maye watche a kynge;
Ye apotheme ys patte;
Ye converse is a differente thynge:
Noe kynge maye watche thys Catte.
Thenne take, eache manne, hys scarlate goune,
Ande eke hys velvette hatte,
And humblye wellcome yntoe toune
Grete Whyttingtone his Catte.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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