For these reasons we propose, in order to save time and trouble, to enumerate a few puns which, for the better regulation of jesting, are positively prohibited in all decent societies where punnery is practised; and first, since the great (indeed the only) merit of a pun is its undoubted originality, its unequivocal novelty, its extemporaneous construction and instantaneous explosion, all puns by recurrence, all puns by repetition, and all puns by anticipation, are prohibited. Secondly, all words spelt differently, having a similar sound, which are carefully collated and arranged in a catalogue prefixed, for the use of little punnikins at schools, to Entick's small dictionary, of whatever sort, kind, or nature they may be, are prohibited. Take for example: AUGUR a soothsayer. AUGER a carpenter's tool. ALL every one. AWL a shoemaker's gimblet. HAUL (for the Cockneys) to pull. HALL a vulgar proper name. BOAR a male pig. BORE Mr. Creevy. WAX the produce of Bees. WHACKS thumps on the head or body and so on. In the next place, all the following travelling puns are strictly prohibited:-- All allusions upon entering a town to the _pound_ and the _stocks_--knowing a man by his gait and not liking his _style_--calling a tall turnpike-keeper a colossus of _roads_--paying the post-boys charges of _ways_ and means--seeing no _sign_ of an _inn_--or, replying, "Sir, you are out," to your friend who says he does--talking of a hedger having a _stake_ in the _bank_--all allusions to _sun_ and _air_ to a new-married couple--all stuff about village _belles_--calling the belfry _a court of a peal_--saying, upon two carpenters putting up paling, that they are very peaceable men to be _fencing in_ a field--all trash about "_manors_ make the man," in the shooting season--and all such stuff about trees, after this fashion--"that's a _pop'lar_ tree--I'll turn over a new _leaf_, and make my _bough_," etc. etc. Puns upon field sports, such as racing being a matter of _course_--horses _starting_ without being shy--a good shot being fond of his _but_ and his _barrel_--or saying that a man fishing deserves a _rod_ for taking such a _line_; if he is sitting under a _bridge_ calling him an _arch_ fellow--or supposing him a nobleman because he takes his place among the _piers_--or that he will _catch_ nothing but cold, and no fish by _hook_ or by crook. All these are prohibited.