The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
His highness is tempted to visit the marble castle which he has seen
from his window, and is "remarkably well received there."
"The bells of the various rooms," says his highness, "are
suspended in a row on the wall, numbered, so that it is
immediately seen in what room any one has rung; the sort of
pendulum which is attached to each wire continues to vibrate for
ten minutes after the sound has ceased, to remind the sluggish of
their duty."
"The females of the establishment," continues his highness, "have
also a large common room, in which, when they have nothing else
to do, they sew, knit, and spin; close to this is a closet for
washing the glass and china, which comes within their province.
Each of them, as well as of the man-servants, has her separate
bed-chamber in the highest story. Only the housekeeper and the
butler have distinct apartments below. Immediately adjoining
that of the housekeeper, is a room where coffee is made, and
the store-room, containing everything requisite for breakfast,
which important meal, in England, belongs specially to her
department.... Near the butler's room is his pantry, a spacious
fire-proof room with closets on every side for the reception of
the plate, which he cleans here, and the glass and china used at
dinner, which must be delivered back into his custody as soon as
it is washed by the women. All these arrangements are executed
with the greatest punctuality. A locked staircase leads from the
pantry into the beer and wine cellar, which is likewise under the
butler's jurisdiction."
Of the cordiality of his highness's reception at the marble castle
we have no doubt; but he leaves us in the dark as to whether he had
been the guest of the housekeeper or the butler, though we confess
we rather incline to the former, not only because, according to his
guarantee, the author of the "Sorrows of Werter," he attracted women
and was attracted by them, because he refers, with something of a
regretful feeling, to the "locked staircase" of the wine-cellar:
had the butler been at home, there is every reason to hope that
his highness would not have found it closed against him, but, like
another Archer, would have been kindly welcomed by the Cambrian Scrub.
His highness next visits a slate-quarry, over which he tells us
it "took him a considerable time to take even a hasty glance." He
then gives us the average of casualties which happen annually, and
breaks off into a profane medley of nonsense, impiously entitled
"Reflections of a Pious Soul," upon which we decline commenting, lest
we should be compelled to extract even the smallest portion of it.
In his highness's account of Carnarvon Castle we are favoured
with an historical fact so interesting and so new withal, that
we must extract it bodily, from page 77; which page is moreover
ostentatiously headed, "Origin of the Prince of Wales's Motto."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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