The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
"Before the archbishop retired," says his highness, "he said
to me, in a most obliging manner, 'You are _as you tell us!_ a
bishop! consequently, you owe obedience to the archbishop. I
employ this, my authority, to command you to dine here to-morrow
with your colleague the Bishop of Limerick, whom we expect
to-day;--I must hear of no excuse.' I answered, taking up the
jest, 'I readily confess that it does not beseem me to withstand
the discipline of the Church, and your grace and the dean know so
well how to sweeten obedience, that I submit the more willingly.'"
"I passed the evening in the society of the * * * * I have
seldom found Protestant clergymen so frank and sincere as these
Catholics. We came to the conclusion, that we must either receive
blindly the hereditary faith the Church prescribes; or, if this
be not in our power, form our own religious system as the result
of individual thoughts and individual feelings, which may rightly
be called the religion of philosophers. The * * * * spoke French
most fluently, I therefore quote his own words: 'Heureusement
on peut en quelque sorte combiner l'un et l'autre; car, au bout
du compte, il faut une religion positive au peuple.' 'Et dites
surtout,' replied I, 'qu'il en faut une aux rois et aux prêtres;
car aux uns elle fournit le par la grâce de Dieu, et aux autres,
de la puissance, des honneurs, et des richesses; le _peuple_ se
contenterait, peut-être, de bonnes lois et d'un gouvernement
libre.' 'Ah,' interrupted he, 'you think like Voltaire,
"Les prêtres ne sont pas ce qu'un vain peuple pense,
Et sa crédulité fait toute notre science."'
'Ma foi,' said I, 'si tous les prêtres vous ressemblaient je
penserais bien autrement.'"
"I was, unfortunately, unable to keep my word with my friendly
Amphitryon. A 'megrim' confined me all day to my bed. The
archbishop sent me word that he would cure me; and, if I
would but bring firm faith, would be sure to drive away the
headache-fiend by a well-applied exorcism. I was, however,
obliged to reply, that this devil was not one of the most
tractable, and that he respected no one but Nature, who sends
and recalls him at her pleasure, which, alas! is seldom in less
than four-and-twenty hours. I must, therefore, cut off even you,
dearest Julia, with a few words."
This is a pleasant specimen of communication between a "frank and
sincere" Irish * * * *, and a Lutheran liberal, who, in order to quiz
the very idea of a Protestant episcopacy, announces himself at a
drinking, singing party of papists, of which an archbishop makes one,
to be a bishop himself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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