The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
The immediate object of this institution is to rob death of its
terrors, and, by following the example of our Parisian friends, blend
the graceful with the grave, and mingle the picturesque with the
pathetic:--in short, the directors feel confident, that when their
scheme is fully developed, the whole system of inhumation will be
changed, and the feelings and associations connected with interments
in general, assume so novel a character, that it will be rather
pleasant than otherwise to follow our friends and relations to the
tomb.
It is proposed to purchase an extensive domain in the neighbourhood
of Primrose Hill and Caen Wood, where the diversified undulations of
ground, and the soothing commixture of trees and water, afford the
most flattering promise of success in the undertaking. No difficulty
is anticipated in the purchase of the property, since the will of the
late noble owner distinctly points out that it shall remain "grass
land" to all eternity; and, "since all flesh is grass," no reasonable
objection can be raised to its appropriation as a public cemetery.
The public cemetery, like the _Daily Advertiser_, will be open to
all parties--dead or alive, of all religions, or, indeed, of none;
and it does not need the practical knowledge attainable by a visit
to the French metropolis to convince the world that by laying out
the ground in a parklike manner, with umbrageous walks, alcoves,
bowers, and fish-ponds, a link will be created between the past
and present generation, and the horrid idea of having deposited a
parent, a husband, or a sister, in a cold, damp grave, or a gloomy
vault, refined into the agreeable recollection that they repose in a
picturesque garden or a shady grove, at an easy distance from the
most fashionable part of the town.
The directors intend opening a convenient hotel and tavern on the
spot, at which persons visiting the cemetery, either as mourners
or in search of quiet retreats for themselves, may procure every
sort of refreshment. A _table-d'hôte_ will be constantly prepared
at five shillings a-head, for which cold meat and _vin de grave_
will be furnished; and on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, during
the summer, after burying-hours, Collinet's band will be regularly
engaged for quadrilles, and the grounds illuminated with variegated
lamps.
A committee of taste will be appointed to regulate the designs of
tombs; and the directors think it may save trouble to state in
the outset that no allusions to death, nor any representations of
skulls, cross-bones, skeletons, or other disagreeable objects, will
be permitted. The Royal Society of Literature will be solicited to
revise the inscriptions, epitaphs, and elegies, and twelve ladies
belonging to the different _corps-de-ballet_ of the King's Theatre,
and the Theatres Royal Covent Garden and Drury Lane, are engaged to
enliven the ground as mourners at newly-erected tombs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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