The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
And what to the poor--or, indeed, to the rich--is an excursion
without refreshment--without the enjoyment of the Sunday's dinner,
the weekly festival at which his family enjoy his society, and in
his society the treat of something "good to eat?" Why may not these
relations, if they prefer good air to bad, go to those "Ordinaries
on Sundays at two o'clock," which may be seen announced on every
sign-board round London? or why, if they prefer it, may they not
travel thither in chaises or other carriages, if they can afford it?
Whether this is sinful or not, Messrs. Agnew and Peter may perhaps
decide; but of this we are sure, that the operatives, except the
already benighted Puritan Radicals, must be, and are opposed, heart
and soul, to the monstrous restrictions which a couple of very small
men are endeavouring to bring them under, because they think it
right, and good, and wise.
The beneficial effects of the measure upon society may be guessed
from the following dialogue between Snip, a tailor, and Snob, a
shoemaker, living in the same house, each having a wife--one having a
child.--(_Time, Sunday morning._)
_Snip._ Vell, Snob, arn't you shaved? Vy, the bells is a-going for
Church--ye von't be ready in time.
_Snob._ Church--bless your heart, I can't go to church to-day--the
bill's come into play.
_Snip._ Ah! I know that to my cost.
_Snob._ How can I go to church? Ve used to send our bit of wittels
to the bakus, and then I and Sal used to go to church, and so give
Jenny Walker sixpence to mind the babby till we come back; then arter
dinner Sal and I and the babby used to go to Chalk Farm, as reglar
as clockwork, every blessed Sunday. She had a cup of the best bohea,
with milk hot from the cow--I smoked my pipe and had a pint of ale.
Little Jenny used to go to church in the arternoon, and come and jine
us, and so help bring babby back. Now we marn't get the things baked
at the bakus, and Jenny marn't come and earn sixpence by looking
arter the babby--so Sal has to cook the wittels, and I have to mind
the child--so there's no church for us.
_Snip._ My missus says she won't do no work Sundays, cause she's
afeard of her life of Bill Byers--so we avn't got a morsel of grub
for dinner, and neither of us knows where to get none--I won't go to
church with this here beard on, six days long; and Jim, him as is
the barber over the way, won't shave me for fear of the five pound
penalty, so I shall stop where I is.
_Snob._ Come along into our place--my Sal isn't so partic'lar--she's
read the hact itself, and swears she's a hexception--we got a line of
mutton, vith the kidney in it, and a peck of tatys--come along wi'
your old woman, and let's be jolly.
_Snip._ Jolly! Hark, Mr. S----, there's one on 'em over the
way--don't ye know 'em?--that's one o' Byers's boys--if he hears you
laugh to-day, two-pun-ten for you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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