The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
"It must then have been past eight," said Daly. "On I trudged;
scrambled over the furrows of one field, and through the turnips in
another; and so on and on, until at last I was forced to sit myself
down on a gate and rest; and, I give you my word, although I have
known a great deal of the world, I never was so dead beat in my
life as I was then. Not a house could I see. The glimmering of a
rushlight in a cottage window would, in my eyes, have been thrice
more brilliant than the whole regalia of England collected. But no:
there were no cottages--no rushlights; and I do believe I went the
length of swearing at my own stupidity in undertaking my solitary
excursion. Only one set-off was there to the whole thing;--I had
seen the Bagswashes, male and female, and laid in materials for an
_historiette_ for the next evening--that is, if I really survived
the present one; but I began to feel cold, and hungry, and thirsty.
However, it appeared pretty certain that out of the fields I must
get, if I went straight on end, and could not well fail of fetching
up in a road somewhere at last."
"Which, as you are here alive to tell the tale," said I, "of course
you did."
"Why, yes," said Daly, "I did; but it was not for a long time; and
then I had come to a full stop; and, striking the butt of my Manton
on the ground, I swore, by stock and barrel, that I would not budge
from under a huge tree which overshadowed me till daylight came to
my aid. I was ravenous--I was chilled--I was wretched--I was tired
to death; but why tire myself more?--and accordingly, feeling, and I
daresay looking, very like the dear Don of La Mancha, I sat myself
down with my back against the trunk, and, if you'll believe me, fell
fast asleep."
"Asleep!" said I.
"Fast as a church," said Daly, "and dreamt--dreamt, first, that I
was starving,--_that_, I think, must have been a sort of waking
vision; then, that I was at a ball; and then I dreamt of being safe
back at mine host's hospitable mansion; and then I had a confused,
hurly-burly kind of a dream, either that I was Sir Marmaduke
Wrigglesworth, or that Lady Wrigglesworth was Mrs. Daly, or something
of that sort, and that I tumbled out of bed, which tumble was to
me a 'dying fall;' for I rolled over on my side, and woke--in no
bed--in no house, but where I had lain me down, under the tree
before-mentioned."
"You must have caught your death of cold?" said I.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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