The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
But what I never knew before is, that there is a coffee-house and
a bar there--the gentleman which keeps the coffee-house is called
_Belly-me_, and he gives them their dinner. Fulmer says you may see
many a man who has a stake in the country taking his chop there; and,
because sobriety is considered a pint of decency, they never drink
more than a pint of wine with their vitals, which is very proper
indeed. This place has been famous for its beef-steaks ever since the
_rump_ Parliament. I believe the House of Lords pays for the dinners
of the House of Commons, for I see they very often carry up their
bills to them.
There is another strange thing, which is, that the Speaker has no
voice, which I think very droll indeed--but what is more curious
still, is, that ladies are never admitted to see the representation,
as it is called; but sometimes they come and peep through the
venterlater, which is a hole in the top to let out the smell, and so
hears the speeches that way.
Talking of Mr. Broom; only think! our famous Hay-Tea Company being
resolved after all--I got some shares, because I saw Mr. Broom's name
to it, and because it was to do away with slavery in China, where
the present tea comes from. I have lost a lump of money by _that_,
and have been very unfortunate all through with these Joint Company
peculations. Lavy has got three Real del Monte shares worth 110
premiums--those _I_ had, I believe, were not _real_ ones at all, for
I never got anything whatsoever by them.
Only think, Sir, of poor Mr. Prince Tollyrang being knocked down
while he was attending as chambermaid to the King, at Sandennie.
They have got a joke now in France, my son-in-law (Number too,
as I calls him) told me yesterday--They say, "il a reprit ses
Culottes"--Culottes are things which the Popish Priests wear upon
their heads; and the joke turns upon the difference between the
culottes and soufflets, which are amulets of eggs, of which I once
before wrote to you, from the other side of Old Ossian.
I should tell you that my Bowfeeze (as he calls himself) Delcroy, is
learning English very fast, but he will not do it the wriggler way,
but gets his Dicks and Harries, and so puzzells out every word. We
had a great laugh against him the other day--
He was a coming home through St. Giles's (which is the only way to
this), and there was two women a fighting in the street, and Delcroy
he stood listening to hear what it was all about; but doose a word
could he make out, till at last one of the women gave the other,
what the fighters call a Flora, and she tumbled down, and then the
friends of her agonist called out "Well done Peg," which Delcroy
got into his head, and come home all the way, a saying to himself,
"Well--done--Peg;" quite dissolved to find out what it meant, in he
comes--up stairs he goes--down comes his Dicks and Harries, and out
he finds the words--
First, he finds "Well"--an evacuation made in the earth to find water;
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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