The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
We came last from Margate, which to my mind is far prefferible to
Briton. At Briton you have always the great bright sparkling Ossian
surfeiting the jingle from morning till night, enough to put one's
eyes out, and drive one deaf--at Margate there is a beautiful arbour,
in which there is no water whatsomever for twelve hours out of
every twenty-four, which affords the curos observer a full view of
Ossian's bottom: besides, instead of nasty hard jingle and stones,
it is all beautiful blue mud, the sight of which, added to the smell
of the juice from the gash works above, reminds one of the dear
Mephistopholis, to the neighbourhood of which we have returned.
Then the Peer at Margate is quite a different thing from the
jigumaree, swing swang, jinkum linkum thing at Briton. At Margate
it is all fixed--built of white stone, and painted pee-green on the
inside, which makes it look quite beautiful; besides, at Briton you
see nothing partiklur on the Chain-peer but the sea, and the company,
and the clifts, and the vessels; but at Margate, besides all the
predestinarians a walking, you have stage coaches, flies, waggons,
cars, and sociables, ready to take you all over the country, not to
speak of carts a fetching coals out of the arbour, and men at the
Jetty a bringing in fish alive out of the sea.
The Marine Libray, at Margate, is a beautiful building, with two
windows in front, and a wooden gallery at the back of the shop,
over the mud--there's nothing in Briton to equal that--and as to
the King's statute, by Shantry, what is it to the beautiful image
of Nipchune, the great sea god, in black, nailed up again the gable
end of the marine, just a going to spear an eel as natural as life.
Then the streets--snug and comfortable--none of your great straggling
prades or esplanades--no--pleasant retreats, where opposite
neighbours can shake hands without leaving their rooms--this is quite
agreeable; it is always shady, and besides, it creates an intrust, as
Mr. Fulmer says, when strolling along a street not to know on which
side of the way one is walking.
The church here is beautiful--not like Briton, stuck down in a vally;
it is up on the top of the hil, so that one is half way to heaven
before one is a quarter of the way to the church; howsumever, the
Galls can see it from Callous if they look sharp, that's one thing.
The stone it is made of, is got out of the bath.
The great hotel at Margate is called House, and is situated in
Chisel-square--a most splendid hairy, something like Salsbury-square
in Fleet-street, only not quite so munificent; here they have luckily
succeeded in getting rid of the sea altogether; indeed they have been
very fortunate in their attempts in many other places. One of my
neices is agoing to open a semenary here, in which I hope she will
suckseed; at present she has several pupils in her eye--at least she
tells _me_ so, but Mr. Fulmer says she can have but one--so I suppose
she phibbs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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