The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore HookHook, Theodore Edward
General
The Choice Humorous Works, Ludicrous Adventures, Bons Mots, Puns, and Hoaxes of Theodore Hook
Hook, Theodore Edward
English wit and humor
Here there is another ole, and I think it must be a herror of the
arthurs, because "cold meat and dripping" is nonsense; however, no
matter, we got over, and _there_, if you'll believe me, was a matter
of a kipple of thousand humane creturs, just like pigs with their
noses in the troffs, agin the wall, a heating and a heating, and a
grunting and a grumbling, over their uncles in gravelly mud.
I heard one man ask for a kennel of chicken, and another wanted a
blanket of veel; but the master cock pot his head out of a French
marqui, and said there warnt nothing shew (which, as you know, means
hot, in the language of the Galls); so I squeedged out three young
youths and two gulls which was a making themselves sick with eating
isis, and made rheum for myself, and sot too to make up my jennys
worth; but if you'll believe me, dear B. (I didn't care for the muck
I was a standing in, for I had a cork soul,) but presently I felt
drip, drip, drip, something a dripping into my neck behind, which I
was so ot a crossing the grace plot I didn't feel at first, but which
was the rein a coming through the callyko top of the yawning; and
what was uncommon surprising to me, although the clouts above were so
black, yet the rein which fell, cum down quite blue. I had a glass
of Bucephalus, three big glasses of celery Shimpain (which shews the
advantage of the garden, for it was just as good as any made from
grapes) and a small glass of O. D. V., which the master cock in his
white nite cap sent out to me. Fulmer called the people who got under
cover, the _con-tents_, and them as could not, the _non con-tents_.
But if you had seen the way in which the genteelmen run about to
fetch vitals for the ladies--it was quite charming. "I want a wing
for a lady," says one--"I want a couple of legs for my ant, who can't
walk," says another--"A thick slice of beef for Miss Angelina," and
so on. Oh! it was quite delightful, only I don't think so double
refined as I expected for a jenny. Fulmer says, in a verse about the
company--
"There were the Thompsons, the Greens, and the Nevensons,
Two Miss Barkers, and twelve Mr. Smiths;
Three Miss Wilsons, Miss White, and the Stephensons,
Pretty Miss Hawkins, and four of the Friths,
The Walkers and Bartons,
The Simpsons and Martins,
The Stubbs's and Parton's,
And old Mrs. Tate.
With Hopkins and Higgins,
And thin Mrs. Figgins,
And fat Mr. Wiggins,
The Elite of the _Fete_."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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