The Christian Home: As it is in the Sphere of Nature and the Church; Showing the Mission, Duties, Influences, Habits, and Responsibilities of Home, its Education, Government, and Discipline; with Hints on "Match Making," and the Relation of Parents to the Marriage Choice of their Children; together with a consideration of the Tests in the Selection of a Companion, Etc.Philips, Samuel
Religion
The Christian Home: As it is in the Sphere of Nature and the Church; Showing the Mission, Duties, Influences, Habits, and Responsibilities of Home, its Education, Government, and Discipline; with Hints on "Match Making," and the Relation of Parents to the Marriage Choice of their Children; together with a consideration of the Tests in the Selection of a Companion, Etc.
Philips, Samuel
Family; Home; Marriage; Parent and child
We are taught in the holy scriptures, the primary importance of judicious
views of the nature and responsibilities of the marriage institution
itself. We should apprehend it, not from its mere worldly standpoint, not
as a simple legal alliance, not only as a scheme for temporal welfare and
happiness, but as a divine institute, a religious alliance, involving
moral responsibilities, and momentous consequences for eternity as well as
for time, for soul as well as for body. We are commanded to look to its
religious elements and duties; and to regard it with that solemnity of
feeling which it truly demands. When the light of the bridal day throws
upon the cheek its brightest colors, even then we should rejoice with
trembling, and our joy and festivity should be only in the Lord.
"Joy, serious and sublime,
Such as doth nerve the energies of prayer,
Should swell the bosom, when a maiden's hand,
Filled with life's dewy flowerets, girdeth on
That harness which the ministry of death
Alone unlooseth, but whose fearful power
May stamp the sentence of eternity."
In the days of our forefathers, marriage was thus held sacred, as a divine
institution, involving moral and religious duties and responsibilities; and
their celebration of it was, therefore, a religious one. They realized its
momentous import, and its bearing upon their future welfare. It was not,
therefore, without heavings of deep moral emotion and the flow of tears as
well as of joyful spirits, that they put the wedding garment on.
"There are smiles and tears in that gathering band,
Where the heart is pledged with the trembling hand
What trying thoughts in the bosom swell,
As the bride bids parents and home farewell!
Kneel down by the side of the tearful fair,
And strengthen the perilous hour with prayer!"
True love in each, and reciprocated by each, must determine the marriage
choice. The marriage of children should not be forced. Mutual love is the
basis of a proper union, because marriage is a voluntary compact. When
parents, therefore, force their children into an alliance, they usurp their
undoubted natural and religious rights. Hence there should be no _must_,
where there is no _will_, on the part of the child. That choice which is
made upon any other than reciprocated affection, is an unreasonable and
irreligious one. "Parents have no right," says Paley, "to urge their
children upon marriage to which they are averse;" "add to this," says he,
"that compulsion in marriage necessarily leads to prevarication; as the
reluctant party promises an affection, which neither exists, nor is
expected to take place." To proceed to marriage, therefore in the face of
absolute dislike and revulsion, is irrational and sinful.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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