So inexplicable did his motives appear that Charles Kingsley accused him of saying that "truth for its own sake need not be, and, on the whole, ought not to be, a virtue of the Roman clergy." Newman's Apologia pro Vita Sua, however, leaves no doubt of the author's own personal rectitude. His premises--the infallibility of conscience and intuition--were false. But that is not an unusual feature of Christian apologetics. The keen intellects of the two pious brothers, John Henry and Francis William, were really buried beneath a mass of preconceptions. That of the latter, however, being less submissive, proceeded to a slow and sure upheaval, and finally Francis Newman rejected Christianity altogether. [228] In the Apologia pro Vita Sua we find, I think, the key to Cardinal Newman's convictions. He was intensely superstitious, and inclined also to be timid. On the opening page, where he gives the recollections of his boyhood, we read: "I used to wish the Arabian tales were true." And again: "I was very superstitious, and for some time previous to my conversion (when I was fifteen) used constantly to cross myself on going into the dark." FREEWILL. In my remarks on the "evil for which man is held responsible," I have alluded to the Rationalist's contention that man cannot be justly blamed for his actions, and that, if there be a God, He alone is to blame. This opens up the question of Freewill v. Determinism--a thorny question, which I should prefer, if only for considerations of space and my readers' patience, to leave severely alone. A whole volume would be necessary to present the case for Determinism adequately, and I am fully aware that a few brief words will fail to convince; but, if I can remove a single iota of the misconceptions on this subject, I shall feel rewarded.