When John said good-bye to Jill on the steps of the _fondamenta_, when
the last wave of her little white handkerchief had fluttered into a
curling light upon the water, he had turned back into the house,
believing that the story was irretrievably ended. The last word had been
written. So far as Jill was concerned, he might well close the book and
thank the pen of Chance that it had shown him an ideal as high above the
common conception of life as it is good for the eyes of a man to lift.
But he had not, in this calculation, counted the presence of those two
white heads in the window up above. For him, so far as his eye could
see, Destiny had had its fill, had drained the cup of possibility to its
utmost dregs. But this was not so for them. They had yet to be
appeased. For them, the matter had only just begun. To them, it was
the last shuttle, whose speeding to and fro, would weave in the past
with the present and so fulfil their final justification.
From that day, the little old white-haired lady looked forward to John’s
marriage with Jill as to the consummation of her whole life’s desire.
She lived--she thought--she ordered her existence for nothing else. Her
disappointment was pathetic to witness when she received Jill’s little
note telling her departure the next day. But her beliefs were not
shaken; her hopes were not thwarted. She still saw the last burning of
her romance before the flame should flicker and become a light no more.
She spoke to John about it of course. Sitting in the window one day,
the window that looked down on to the old gentleman’s garden, she told
him what she knew; what was not the slightest use his contradicting.
They loved each other. Oh, not a doubt of it! She spoke
authoritatively, as women will on these subjects. Who better able to
than they?
"You really think she loves me, mother?" he asked in a quick moment of
hopefulness.
She took his hand. She lifted one tired arm about his neck.
"Why do you think she came like that to Venice?" she asked. "There’s
not a thing she wouldn’t do for you--not a place she wouldn’t go to in
order to see you. Don’t you realise that?"
It was unfortunate she should have chosen that phrase. There were
things, Jill would not do for him. It had needed every effort from him
to find the full value of unselfishness in what she was about to do; but
he could not think that she loved him as his mother would have him
believe. It was unfortunate, her choosing of that phrase. From that
moment, John shrank into himself. He could not bring himself to tell
her the whole truth of it; therefore, it was no good talking any more.
"Her people are too well off," he said, rising with a gesture of despair
from the seat in the window. "They’re in a different position
altogether. I’ve no right to tell her. I’ve no right to try and win
her affection. It would only be a hopeless business all through."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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