"_You will understand what I mean, my dear boy. I’ve read the story, and
I don’t think it ought to end sadly, and you will no doubt say, ’Oh,
he’s quite old-fashioned; he does not know that a sad ending is an
artistic ending.’ But that is not because I am old-fashioned. It is
simply because I am old. When you are young, you see unhappy endings
because you are young enough to bear the pain of them. It is only when
you get older that you see otherwise. When you have had your sorrow,
which, you know, only as an artist I wish for you, then you will write
in another strain. Go on with your unhappy endings. Don’t take any
notice of us. All your work will be happy one day, and remember, you
are not writing for but because of us. By the way, I think you spelt
paregoric wrong._"
Now again the dictation.
"_Well, anyhow, though I know nothing about it, I feel you write as
though you loved. You would tell me, would you not, if you did? I am
sure it must be the way to write, the way, in fact, to do everything.
Your father says the pictures he paints now lack strength and vigour;
but I find them just as beautiful; they are so gentle._"
Parenthesis.
"_One can’t always love as one did at twenty-six--T.G. That sounds like
reverential gratitude for the fact, but you understand it is only my
initials._"
"_He has written something again, John--and he won’t tell me what it is.
If he has said he is getting too old to love, don’t believe him. He has
just leant forward and kissed me on my forehead. I have insisted upon
his writing this down. Your story about the girl in the chapel and the
last candle amused us very much. It interested me especially. If it
had been me, I should have fallen in love with you then and there for
being so considerate. What was she like? Have you ever seen her since?
I can’t feel that you were meant to meet her for nothing. I have tried
to think, too, what she could have been praying to St. Joseph for, but
it is beyond me. It is not like a woman to pray for money for herself.
Perhaps some of her relations have money troubles. That is all I can
imagine, though I have thought over it every day since I got your
letter. God bless you, my darling. We are waiting eagerly for the
reviews of your new book. When will it be out--the exact date? I want
to say a novena for it, so let me know in good time. And if you meet
the Lady of St. Joseph--as you call her--again, you must promise to tell
me all about it. Your father wants the rest of the sheet of note-paper
on which to say something to you--so, God bless you always._"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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