I took the opportunity to thank her for her kindness to me when I came on
board on Sunday; but with my opening words the air of Francesca meeting
Paolo in space came over her again. I understood her to say that her help
on Sunday was a little thing, that she would have given it to any one.
“Of course,” I agreed, “you would have given it to any one; but in this
case you gave it to me. You must allow me to thank you before anything
happens that might—that might make gratitude too late.”
As I think of her now I can see that she was mistress of herself in the
way that a letter-perfect actress is mistress of herself, repeating words
that have been learned to fit a certain situation. She had foreseen that
I would say something of the kind; she had foreseen that when I did she
might be a prey to troublesome emotions; and so had fortified herself in
advance by a studied set of phrases.
“I’m so little of a nurse that I should be ashamed not to do for a
soldier the few small things in my power.”
If she had never made me suffer anything, and if the moment had not been
one that might conceivably end our relations forever, I should probably
not have uttered the words that came to me next.
“Was it only because I’m a soldier—?”
She interrupted skilfully. “Only because you’re a soldier? Isn’t a
soldier the most splendid man in the world—especially at a time like
this?”
Bang!
It was one of our two guns. As a merchantman, not built to withstand the
concussion of cannon, the _Assiniboia_ shuddered.
With an involuntary start my companion caught me by the sleeve.
The impulse to seize her hand and draw it gently within my arm was
irresistible. Had I reflected, I might not have done this, since my
dominant desire was to keep stripped and unencumbered for the race.
She allowed me to retain her hand just long enough to show that she was
not mortally offended, after which she gently disengaged herself. To
cover the constraint that both of us felt I went on to wonder if our shot
had taken effect. A young man who had gone to find out came back with the
news that the lookout, having spied the pin furrow of the periscope, the
shot had been fired at a venture. As far as could be observed it had done
nothing but send up a waterspout.
On receiving this information I went on with our interrupted
personalities.
“Ever since Sunday I’ve wondered what had become of you; but then I’ve
been looking for the uniform.”
“I always intended taking that off when I got on board. You see, I never
was a nurse in any but an amateur sense, and so—”
It was my opportunity to spring the surprise I had been holding in
reserve ever since my talk with the Consolatrice in the dock at Liverpool.
“When did you last see Mabel?”
She spoke with a sharp, sudden mezzo cry that might have been caused by
pain.
“Who told you that?”
“Who told me what?”
Bang!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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