I had no means of seeking an answer to these questions, because Coningsby
came in and the process of being welcomed had to be gone through again.
Moreover, the commonplaces which, when carried on _à deux_, might have
led to something more personal remained as commonplaces and no more when
tossed about _à quatre_.
On our going in to dinner the same tone was maintained, and I learned
nothing from any interchange of looks. There was, in fact, no interchange
of looks. Miss Barry talked to her right and to her left, but rarely
across the table. When it became necessary to speak a word directly to
me she did it with so hasty a glance that it might easily not have been
a glance at all. The burning eyes that had watched me so intently on our
first meeting, and studied me with so much laughing curiosity on our
second, kept themselves hidden. Since it was on them that I had reckoned
to tell me what I was so eager to be sure of, I was like a man who hopes
to look through a window and finds it darkened by curtains.
After dinner, however, I got an opportunity. Coningsby and his wife were
summoned to the nursery to discuss the manifestations of some childish
ailment. Miss Barry and I being left alone before the fire, I was able to
say, “Well, have you thought of it?”
Some of the customary vivacity returned to her lips and eyes. She had at
no time seemed unkindly—only absent and rather dreamy. She was rather
dreamy still, but more on the spot mentally.
“Thought of what?”
“Of—of where we first met.”
“Oh, that! I’m sorry to say I’ve been too busy to do any searching in my
memory. But one of these days I must.”
There was no mistaking the sincerity of her tone. She had not searched in
her memory; she had not considered it worth while. Her interest in our
meeting at the memorial had probably passed before she had driven away.
I must plead guilty to feeling piqued. That she should be so much in
my mind and that I should occupy so small a place in hers not only
disappointed but annoyed me. I said to myself, “Oh, well, if she cares
so little there is no reason why I should care more.” Aloud I made it:
“Please don’t bother about it. One of these days the recollection will
come back to you of its own accord.”
“Yes; I dare say.” She went on without transition, “Whom did your brother
marry?”
I told her.
“He wasn’t like everybody else,” she pursued. “I wonder—I wonder if you
are?”
“Wouldn’t that depend on what you mean by being like everybody else? I
don’t know that I get your standard.”
“Oh, men are so much alike. There’s no more difference between them than
between so many beans in a bottle.”
“I don’t see that. To my mind they’re all distinct from one another.”
“In little ways, yes. But when it comes to the big ways—”
“What are the big ways?”
She weighed this, a forefinger against a cheek.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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