Nothing sharpens the wits of a Turk like self-interest. The procession, from which I have digressed, passed through the street called Divan-Yoli, terminating at the mosque of St. Sophia, near the Imperial Palace. When it arrived at Ortakapou, or The Middle Door, the whole of the officers alighted, and formed an avenue to the entrance of the harem, whence the marriage gifts were conveyed into the Seraï, where the Seraskier, acting for the bridegroom, craved and obtained an interview with the Kislar-Agha, who was proxy for the Princess. This hideous negro has the thickest lips, the flattest nose, the smallest eyes, and the most unwieldy person of all the eunuchs of the empire. Imagination cannot paint his ugliness! And before this revolting caricature of humanity, the haughty Minister, in whose hands are life and death, bent his stubborn knee in supplication. Scarcely had he crossed the threshold of the magnificent apartment in which the Kislar-Agha awaited him, ere he prostrated himself to the earth, as he besought the monstrous representative of youth and beauty to have mercy upon the slave who kissed the dust before the Light of the Creation, the Glory of the Moon,[3] the Empress of his thoughts—upon which the unwieldy negro averted his face, cast down his eyes, and assumed the prude; but, after a vast deal of coquetting, the lover-like vehemence of the gray-headed Seraskier met with its reward—a sable hand was extended towards him, which he embraced with transport—the presents were condescendingly accepted; the sweetmeats by the Kislar-Agha himself: and the more costly offerings by the principal eunuchs of the palace, in the names of their Imperial Mistresses, to whom they were immediately conveyed. And thus terminated the first act of the sublime comedy! CHAPTER XV. Fine Scenery—The Coast of Asia—Turkish Cemeteries—The Imperial Seraï—The Golden Horn—Mount Olympus—The Arabajhe—The Araba—The Persian Kiosk—The Barrack of Scutari—The Mosque of Selim III.—The Slipper of the Sultana Validè—The Imperial Guard—Military Material—The Macaroni Manufactory—Sublime Targets—A Major of the Imperial Guard—Triumph of Utilitarianism—The Rise of the Vines—The Holy Tomb—Encampments of the Plague-smitten—The Setting Sun—Return to Europe—The Square of Topphannè. I have seldom seen a lovelier day than that on which we first passed over to Scutari; the sunshine was bright upon the Bosphorus, the tops of the tall cypresses were golden in the light, and their feathery branches heaved slightly beneath the breeze; the sky was blue about the spiral minarets: and the painted houses gleamed out like gigantic flowers as the day-beam touched them; the ripple sparkled like diamond-dust, and our arrowy caïque seemed to breathe as it undulated upon the surface.