Esme! The electric spark of thought leaped the long space of years from
the child, Esme, to the girl, in the vain love of whom he had eaten his
heart hollow. For the moment, passion for the vivid woman-creature
before him had dulled that profounder feeling almost to obliteration.
Perhaps--so the thought came to him--he might find forgetfulness,
anodyne in Milly Neal's arms. But what of Milly, taken on such poor
terms?
The bitter love within him gave answer. Not loyalty to Esme Elliot whom
he knew unworthy, but to Milly herself, bound him to honor and
restraint; so strangely does the human soul make its dim and perilous
way through the maze of motives. Even though the girl, now questing his
face with puzzled, frightened eyes, asked nothing but to belong to him;
demanded no bond of fealty or troth, held him free as she held herself
free, content with the immediate happiness of a relation that, must end
in sorrow for one or the other, yet he could not take what she so
prodigally, so gallantly proffered, with the image of another woman
smiling through his every thought. That, indeed, were to be unworthy,
not of Esme, not of himself, but of Milly.
He made a step toward her, and her glad hands went out to him again.
Very gently he took them; very gently he bent and kissed her cheek.
"That's for good-bye," he said. The voice in which he spoke seemed alien
to his ears, so calm it was, so at variance with his inner turmoil.
"You won't take me with you?"
"No."
"You promised."
"I know." He was not concerned now with verbal differentiations. Truly,
he had promised, wordlessly though it had been. "But I can't."
"You don't care?" she said piteously.
"I care very much. If I cared less--"
"There's some other woman."
"Yes."
Flame leaped in her eyes. "I hope she poisons your life."
"I hope I haven't poisoned yours," he returned, lamely enough.
"Oh, I'll manage to live on," she gibed. "I guess there are other men
in the world besides you."
"Don't make it too hard, Milly."
"You're pitying me! Don't you dare pity me!" A sob rose, and burst from
her. Then abruptly she seized command over herself. "What does it all
matter?" she said. "Go away now and let me change my clothes."
"Are they dry?"
"I don't care whether they're dry or not. I don't care what becomes of
me now." All the sullen revolt of generations of lawlessness was vocal
in her words. "You wait and see!"
Somehow Hal got out of the room, his mind awhirl, to await her
downstairs. In a few moments she came, and with eyes somberly averted
got into the runabout without a word. As they swung into the road, they
met McGuire Ellis and Wayne, who bowed with a look of irrepressible
surprise. During the ride homeward Hal made several essays at
conversation. But the girl sat frozen in a white silence. Only when they
pulled up at her door did she speak.
"I'm going to try to forget this," she said in a dry, hard voice. "You
do the same. I won't quit my job unless you want me to."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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