The Clean HeartHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Science
The Clean Heart
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Authors -- Fiction; Happiness -- Fiction
In the days of wild escapade with Mr. Puddlebox, Mr. Wriford's
thoughts--all in some form of passion--worked very rapidly. Now, as
though they had learnt their gait from his slow revolving of his
ceaseless question, they worked very slowly; and when he spoke he
spoke very slowly. His mind went slowly to the account he had been
reading of himself in the illustrated paper. He thought of the large
sum that awaited him in his agent's hands, and he thought, with an
impulse of the furious Puddlebox days, of the glorious sensation he
would arouse by bellowing at these uncouth creatures: "Earned so
much! Well, I daresay I could buy up the lot of you, you
ugly-looking lot of pigs, and have as much over again!" But he
allowed the impulse to drift away. He had done that sort of thing:
to what profit? He might do it. He might follow it up by stampeding
about the room, hurling sandwiches at Guardians and shouting with
laughter at the amazement and confusion while he did as much damage
as he could before he was overpowered. What profit? The excitement
would pass and be over. It would lead to nothing that would satisfy
him. It would bring him nowhere that would rest him. He had done
that sort of thing. It attracted him no more. Should he answer them
seriously--explain who he was, request that a telegram should be sent
to his agent, go back to his old life, take up the success that
awaited him? What profit? That, too, he had tried. That, too,
would lead him nowhere, bring him no nearer to his only desire. He
imagined himself back in London, back in his own place once more,
enjoying the comforts he had earned, travelling, amusing himself,
settling to work again. What profit? Enjoyment! Amusement! He
would find none. They and all that they meant lay hidden beneath
some secret of life that must be found ere ever he could touch
them--something for which always and always he would be searching,
something he had missed. He had tried it. It had no attraction for
him: rather it had a thousand explanations, worries, demands, at
whose very thought he shuddered. Let him drift. Let him go
wheresoever any chance tide might take him. Let him be alone to
think, to think, and haply to discover.
"Well?" said Mr. Chairman.
"If you think I'm fit to go, I'll go at once," said Mr. Wriford.
"I'm very grateful for all that has been done for me."
Mr. Chairman reckoned that he ought to be. "Where'll you go?"
demanded Mr. Chairman.
"Anywhere."
"What'll you do?"
"I don't know."
Mr. Chairman thumped the table in expression of one of the many
trials that Guardians had to bear. "What's the sense o' that talk?"
demanded Mr. Chairman. "Anywhere! Don't know! That's the way with
all you chaps. Get outside and pretend you're starving and pitch a
fine tale about being turned out and get rate-payers jawing or
magistrates preachin' us a lecture. We've been there before, my
beauty."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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