The Clicking of CuthbertWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Clicking of Cuthbert
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Golf stories; Humorous stories
"Hope I haven't kept you waiting," said Merolchazzar, apologetically.
He, too, was conscious of a strange, wild exhilaration. Truly was this
maiden, as his Chamberlain had said, noticeably easy on the eyes. Her
beauty was as water in the desert, as fire on a frosty night, as
diamonds, rubies, pearls, sapphires, and amethysts.
"Oh, no!" said the princess, "I've been enjoying myself. How passing
beautiful are thy gardens, O King!"
"My gardens may be passing beautiful," said Merolchazzar, earnestly,
"but they aren't half so passing beautiful as thy eyes. I have dreamed
of thee by night and by day, and I will tell the world I was nowhere
near it! My sluggish fancy came not within a hundred and fifty-seven
miles of the reality. Now let the sun dim his face and the moon hide
herself abashed. Now let the flowers bend their heads and the gazelle
of the mountains confess itself a cripple. Princess, your slave!"
And King Merolchazzar, with that easy grace so characteristic of
Royalty, took her hand in his and kissed it.
As he did so, he gave a start of surprise.
"By Hec!" he exclaimed. "What hast thou been doing to thyself? Thy hand
is all over little rough places inside. Has some malignant wizard laid
a spell upon thee, or what is it?"
The Princess blushed.
"If I make that clear to thee," she said, "I shall also make clear why
it was that I sent thee no message all this long while. My time was so
occupied, verily I did not seem to have a moment. The fact is, these
sorenesses are due to a strange, new religion to which I and my
subjects have but recently become converted. And O that I might make
thee also of the true faith! 'Tis a wondrous tale, my lord. Some two
moons back there was brought to my Court by wandering pirates a captive
of an uncouth race who dwell in the north. And this man has taught
us----"
King Merolchazzar uttered a loud cry.
"By Tom, the son of Morris! Can this truly be so? What is thy
handicap?"
The Princess stared at him, wide-eyed.
"Truly this is a miracle! Art thou also a worshipper of the great
Gowf?"
"Am I!" cried the King. "Am I!" He broke off. "Listen!"
From the minstrels' room high up in the palace there came the sound of
singing. The minstrels were practising a new paean of praise--words by
the Grand Vizier, music by the High Priest of Hec--which they were to
render at the next full moon at the banquet of the worshippers of Gowf.
The words came clear and distinct through the still air:
_"Oh, praises let us utter
To our most glorious King!
It fairly makes you stutter
To see him start his swing!
Success attend his putter!
And luck be with his drive!
And may he do each hole in two,
Although the bogey's five!"_
The voices died away. There was a silence.
"If I hadn't missed a two-foot putt, I'd have done the long fifteenth
in four yesterday," said the King.
"I won the Ladies' Open Championship of the Outer Isles last week,"
said the Princess.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account