The Clicking of CuthbertWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Clicking of Cuthbert
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Golf stories; Humorous stories
"There is nothing in the rules," said Ralph Bingham, "against moving a
hazard. If a hazard can be moved without disturbing the ball, you are
at liberty, I gather, to move it wherever you please. Besides, what is
all this about moving hazards? I have a perfect right to go for a
morning row, haven't I? If I were to ask my doctor, he would probably
actually recommend it. I am going to row my boat across the sound. If
it happens to have my ball on board, that is not my affair. I shall not
disturb my ball, and I shall play it from where it lies. Am I right in
saying that the rules enact that the ball shall be played from where it
lies?"
We admitted that it was.
"Very well, then," said Ralph Bingham. "Don't let us waste any more
time. We will wait for you at Woodfield."
He addressed his ball, and drove a beauty over the trees. It flashed
out of sight in the direction of the seventeenth tee. Arthur and I made
our way down the hill to play our second.
* * * * *
It is a curious trait of the human mind that, however little personal
interest one may have in the result, it is impossible to prevent
oneself taking sides in any event of a competitive nature. I had
embarked on this affair in a purely neutral spirit, not caring which of
the two won and only sorry that both could not lose. Yet, as the
morning wore on, I found myself almost unconsciously becoming
distinctly pro-Jukes. I did not like the man. I objected to his face,
his manners, and the colour of his tie. Yet there was something in the
dogged way in which he struggled against adversity which touched me and
won my grudging support. Many men, I felt, having been so outmanoeuvred
at the start, would have given up the contest in despair; but Arthur
Jukes, for all his defects, had the soul of a true golfer. He declined
to give up. In grim silence he hacked his ball through the rough till
he reached the high road; and then, having played twenty-seven, set
himself resolutely to propel it on its long journey.
It was a lovely morning, and, as I bicycled along, keeping a fatherly
eye on Arthur's activities, I realized for the first time in my life
the full meaning of that exquisite phrase of Coleridge:
_"Clothing the palpable and familiar
With golden exhalations of the dawn,"_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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