Then there was an interval. Then he brought them a long mug apiece made
of glass, and frowned. By and bye he stalked gloomily in with a hunch of
bread apiece, and exited with an injured air. Expectation thus raised,
the guests sat for nearly an hour balancing the wooden spoons, and with
their own knives whittling the bread. Eventually when hope was extinct,
patience worn out, and hunger exhausted, a huge vessel was brought in
with pomp, the lid was removed, a cloud of steam rolled forth, and
behold some thin broth with square pieces of bread floating. This,
though not agreeable to the mind, served to distend the body. Slices of
Strasbourg ham followed, and pieces of salt fish, both so highly salted
that Gerard could hardly swallow a mouthful. Then came a kind of gruel,
and, when the repast had lasted an hour and more some hashed meat highly
peppered: and the French and Dutch being now full to the brim with the
above dainties, and the draughts of beer the salt and spiced meats had
provoked, in came roasted kids, most excellent, and carp and trout fresh
from the stream. Gerard made an effort and looked angrily at them, but
"could no more" as the poets say. The Burgundian swore by the liver and
pike-staff of the good centurion, the natives had outwitted him. Then
turning to Gerard, he said, "Courage, l'ami, le diable est mort," as
loudly as before, but not with the same tone of conviction. The canny
natives had kept an internal corner for contingencies, and polished the
kids' very bones.
The feast ended with a dish of raw animalcula in a wicker cage. A cheese
had been surrounded with little twigs and strings; then a hole made in
it and a little sour wine poured in. This speedily bred a small but
numerous vermin. When the cheese was so rotten with them that only the
twigs and string kept it from tumbling to pieces and walking off
quadrivious, it came to table. By a malicious caprice of fate cage and
menagerie were put down right under the Dutchman's organ of
self-torture. He recoiled with a loud ejaculation, and hung to the bench
by the calves of his legs.
"What is the matter?" said a traveller disdainfully. "Does the good
cheese scare ye? Then put it hither, in the name of all the saints!"
"Cheese!" cried Gerard, "I see none. These nauseous reptiles have made
away with every bit of it."
"Well," replied another, "It is not gone far. By eating of the mites we
eat the cheese to boot."
"Nay, not so," said Gerard. "These reptiles are made like us, and digest
their food and turn it to foul flesh even as we do ours to sweet: as
well might you think to chew grass by eating of grass-fed beeves, as to
eat cheese by swallowing these uncleanly insects."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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