The Club of Queer TradesChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
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The Club of Queer Trades
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
Detective and mystery stories, English; Private investigators -- England -- London -- Fiction
“The lady downstairs,” replied Rupert. “The lady who was locked up. She
won't come out. And she says that all she wants is for us to let these
fellows loose.”
“And a jolly sensible suggestion,” cried Basil, and with a bound he was
on top of the prostrate Burrows once more and was unknotting his bonds
with hands and teeth.
“A brilliant idea. Swinburne, just undo Mr Greenwood.”
In a dazed and automatic way I released the little gentleman in the
purple jacket, who did not seem to regard any of the proceedings as
particularly sensible or brilliant. The gigantic Burrows, on the other
hand, was heaving with herculean laughter.
“Well,” said Basil, in his cheeriest way, “I think we must be getting
away. We've so much enjoyed our evening. Far too much regard for you to
stand on ceremony. If I may so express myself, we've made ourselves at
home. Good night. Thanks so much. Come along, Rupert.”
“Basil,” said Rupert desperately, “for God's sake come and see what you
can make of the woman downstairs. I can't get the discomfort out of my
mind. I admit that things look as if we had made a mistake. But these
gentlemen won't mind perhaps...”
“No, no,” cried Burrows, with a sort of Rabelaisian uproariousness. “No,
no, look in the pantry, gentlemen. Examine the coal-hole. Make a tour of
the chimneys. There are corpses all over the house, I assure you.”
This adventure of ours was destined to differ in one respect from others
which I have narrated. I had been through many wild days with Basil
Grant, days for the first half of which the sun and the moon seemed to
have gone mad. But it had almost invariably happened that towards the
end of the day and its adventure things had cleared themselves like the
sky after rain, and a luminous and quiet meaning had gradually dawned
upon me. But this day's work was destined to end in confusion worse
confounded. Before we left that house, ten minutes afterwards, one
half-witted touch was added which rolled all our minds in cloud. If
Rupert's head had suddenly fallen off on the floor, if wings had begun
to sprout out of Greenwood's shoulders, we could scarcely have been more
suddenly stricken. And yet of this we had no explanation. We had to go
to bed that night with the prodigy and get up next morning with it and
let it stand in our memories for weeks and months. As will be seen, it
was not until months afterwards that by another accident and in another
way it was explained. For the present I only state what happened.
When all five of us went down the kitchen stairs again, Rupert leading,
the two hosts bringing up the rear, we found the door of the prison
again closed. Throwing it open we found the place again as black as
pitch. The old lady, if she was still there, had turned out the gas: she
seemed to have a weird preference for sitting in the dark.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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