Brothers -- Fiction; Crimean War, 1853-1856 -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Identity -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction
"Well, you see, we can't very well go together and tell her. But if we
write she can have both our letters at the same time, and then she can
decide. I'm sure it's the only way to settle it. Can you think of
anything better?"
But Jim had no suggestions to offer. All he knew was that his whole
nature craved Gracie, and he could not imagine life without her.
In the earlier times, when, as generally happened, they both wanted a
thing which only one of them could have, they always fought for it,
and to the victor remained the spoils.
But in those days the spoils were of no great account, and the
pleasure of the fight was all in all.
This was a very different matter. The prize was life's highest crown
and happiness for one of them, and no personal strife could win it. It
was a matter beyond the power of either to influence now. It was
outside them. They could ask, but they could not take. Forcefulness
could do much in the bending and shaping of life, but here force was
powerless.
And it was then, as he brooded over the whole matter, that one of
life's great lessons was borne in upon Jim Carron--that the dead hand
of the past still works in the moulding of the present and the future,
that what has gone is still a mighty factor in what is and what is to
come.
He groaned in the spirit over his own deficiencies, the lost
opportunities, the times wasted, which, turned to fuller account,
might now have served him so well. If only he could have known that
all the past was making towards this mighty issue, how differently he
would have utilised it.
For, submitting himself to most unusual self-examination, and
searching into things with eyes sharpened by unusual stress, he could
not but acknowledge that, compared with Jack, he made but a poor show.
Jack was clever. He had a head and knew how to use it. He would go far
and make a great name for himself. Whereas he himself had nothing to
offer but a true heart and a lusty arm, and Jack had these also in
addition to his greater qualifications.
How could any girl hesitate for a moment between them? His chances, he
feared, were small, and he felt very downcast and broken as he sat,
that same afternoon, chewing the end of his pen and thoughtfully
spitting out the bits, in an agonising effort after unusual expression
such as should be worthy of the occasion.
His window gave on to the northern flats, and, as he savoured the
penholder, in his mind's eye he saw again the wonderful little figure
of Gracie in her scarlet bathing-gown, with her hair astream, and her
face agleam, and her little white feet going like drumsticks, as they
had seen her that very first morning long ago. And, since then, how
she had become a part of their very lives!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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