The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 01Bierce, Ambrose
General
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 01
Bierce, Ambrose
Fiction
Our competition for her favor did not make us enemies; on the contrary we
were drawn together into something like an offensive and defensive
alliance by a common sorrow--the successful rivalry of a singularly
handsome Italian who sat next her at table. So assiduous was he in his
attentions that my office as the lady's guide, philosopher and friend was
nearly a sinecure, and as to the others, they had hardly one chance a day
to prove their devotion: that enterprising son of Italy dominated the
entire situation. By some diabolical prevision he anticipated Madame's
every need and wish--placed her reclining-chair in the most sheltered
spots on deck, smothered her in layer upon layer of wraps, and conducted
himself, generally, in the most inconsiderate way. Worse still, Madame
accepted his good offices with a shameless grace "which said as plain as
whisper in the ear" that there was a perfect understanding between them.
What made it harder to bear was the fellow's faulty civility to the rest
of us; he seemed hardly aware of our existence.
Our indignation was not loud, but deep. Every day in the smoking-room we
contrived the most ingenious and monstrous, plans for his undoing in this
world and the next; the least cruel being a project to lure him to the
upper deck on a dark night and send him unshriven to his account by way of
the lee rail; but as none of us knew enough Italian to tell him the
needful falsehood that scheme of justice came to nothing, as did all the
others. At the wharf in New York we parted from Madame more in sorrow than
in anger, and from her conquering cavalier with polite manifestations of
the contempt we did not feel.
That evening I called on her at her hotel, facing Union Square. Soon after
my arrival there was an audible commotion out in front: the populace,
headed by a brass band and incited, doubtless, by pure love of art, had
arrived to do honor to the great singer. There was music--a
serenade--followed by shoutings of the lady's name. She seemed a trifle
nervous, but I led her to the balcony, where she made a very pretty little
speech, piquant with her most charming accent. When the tumult and
shouting had died we re-entered her apartment to resume our conversation.
Would it please monsieur to have a glass, of wine? It would. She left the
room for a moment; then came the wine and glasses on a tray, borne by that
impossible Italian! He had a napkin across his arm--he was a servant.
Barring some of the band and the populace, I am doubtless the Sole
Survivor, for Madame has for a number of years had a permanent engagement
Above, and my faith in Divine Justice does not permit me to think that the
servile wretch who cast down the mighty from their seat among the Sons of
Hope was suffered to live out the other half of his days.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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