The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 08: Negligible Tales, On With the Dance, EpigramsBierce, Ambrose
General
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 08: Negligible Tales, On With the Dance, Epigrams
Bierce, Ambrose
American literature
Mr. Munniglut has not arrived, but his friend, the large gentleman who
was with him all day yesterday, is here again. He seems very desirous of
seeing you, and says he will wait. Perhaps he is your cousin. I thought
I would tell you he was here, so that you might hasten down.
Ought I to allow dogs in the office? The gentleman has a bull-dog.
_Peter Pitchin, Editor, to Henry Inxling, Bookkeeper._
13 LOFER STREET, Tuesday, 9.30 A.M.
Certainly _not;_ dogs have fleas. The man is an impostor. Oblige me by
turning him out. I shall come down this afternoon--_early_.
P.S.--Don't listen to the rascal's entreaties; out with him!
_Henry Inxling, Bookkeeper, to Peter Pitchin, Editor._
"STINGER" OFFICE, Tuesday, 12 M.
The gentleman carries a revolver. Would you mind coming down and
reasoning with him? I have a wife and five children depending on me, and
when I lose my temper I am likely to go too far. I would prefer that
_you_ should turn him out.
_Peter Pitchin, Editor, to Henry Inxling, Bookkeeper._
13 LOFER STREET, Tuesday, 2 P.M.
Do you suppose I can leave my private correspondence to preserve you
from the intrusion and importunities of beggars? Put the scoundrel out
at once--neck and heels! I know him; he's Muskler--don't you remember?
Muskler, the coward, who assaulted an old man; you'll find the whole
circumstances related in last Saturday's issue. Out with him--the
unmanly sneak!
_Henry Inxling, Bookkeeper, to Peter Pitchin, Editor._
"STINGER" OFFICE, Tuesday Evening.
I have told him to go, and he laughed. So did the bull-dog. But he is
going. He is now making a bed for the pup in one corner of your room,
with some rugs and old newspapers, and appears to be about to go to
dinner. I have given him your address. The foreman wants some copy to go
on with. I beg you will come at once if I am to be left alone with that
dog.
_Peter Pitchin, Editor, to Henry Inxling, Bookkeeper._
40 DUNTIONER'S ALLEY, Wednesday, 10 A.M.
I should have come down to the office last evening, but you see I have
been moving. My landlady was too filthy dirty for anything! I stood it
as long as I could; then I left. I'm coming directly I get your answer
to this; but I want to know, first, if my blotter has been changed and
my ink-well refilled. This house is a good way out, but the boy can take
the car at the corner of Cobble and Slush streets.
O!--about that _man_? Of course you have not seen him since.
_William Quoin, Foreman, to Peter Pitchin, Editor._
"STINGER" OFFICE, Wednesday, 12 M.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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