The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 08: Negligible Tales, On With the Dance, EpigramsBierce, Ambrose
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The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 08: Negligible Tales, On With the Dance, Epigrams
Bierce, Ambrose
American literature
The effect was electrical: the motion was carried by acclamation and
there was a unanimous rush for the now wretched mariner whose false
alarm at the masthead was the cause of our embarrassment, but on second
thoughts it was decided to substitute Captain Troutbeck, as less
generally useful and more undeviatingly in error. The sailor had made
one mistake of considerable magnitude, but the captain's entire
existence was a mistake altogether. He was fetched up from his cabin and
chucked over.
At 900 Tottenham Road Court lived an aunt of mine--a good old lady who
had brought me up by hand and taught me many wholesome lessons in
morality, which in my later life have proved of extreme value. Foremost
among these I may mention her solemn and oft-repeated injunction never
to tell a lie without a definite and specific reason for doing so. Many
years' experience in the violation of this principle enables me to speak
with authority as to its general soundness. I have, therefore, much
pleasure in making a slight correction in the preceding chapter of this
tolerably true history. It was there affirmed that I threw the
_Bonnyclabber's_ log-book into the sea. The statement is entirely false,
and I can discover no reason for having made it that will for a moment
weigh against those I now have for the preservation of that log-book.
The progress of the story has developed new necessities, and I now find
it convenient to quote from that book passages which it could not have
contained if cast into the sea at the time stated; for if thrown upon
the resources of my imagination I might find the temptation to
exaggerate too strong to be resisted.
It is needless to worry the reader with those entries in the book
referring to events already related. Our record will begin on the day of
the captain's consignment to the deep, after which era I made the
entries myself.
"June 22nd.--Not much doing in the way of gales, but heavy swells left
over from some previous blow. Latitude and longitude not notably
different from last observation. Ship laboring a trifle, owing to lack
of top-hamper, everything of that kind having been cut away in
consequence of Captain Troutbeck having accidently fallen overboard
while fishing from the bowsprit. Also threw over cargo and everything
that we could spare. Miss our sails rather, but if they save our dear
captain, we shall be content. Weather flagrant.
"23d.--Nothing from Captain Troutbeck. Dead calm--also dead whale. The
passengers having become preposterous in various ways, Mr. Martin, the
chief officer, had three of the ringleaders tied up and rope's-ended. He
thought it advisable also to flog an equal number of the crew, by way of
being impartial. Weather ludicrous.
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