The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 09: Tangential ViewsBierce, Ambrose
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The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 09: Tangential Views
Bierce, Ambrose
American essays; American literature
We are not left in doubt as to the precise nature of the disasters
which an “interesting period” may naturally be expected to entail; it
is strongly intimated that the period is to be “another glacial age.”
The one with which we were last favored, not longer ago, according to
some authorities, than a matter of twenty thousand years, appears to
have accomplished its purposes of erosion and extinction imperfectly.
Its vast layers of ice, moving from the Pole toward the Equator,
planed off the surface of the earth so badly that such asperities as
the Rocky Mountains, the Alps and the Himalayas may be supposed to
offend the mechanical eye of Nature and make her desirous to go over
them again. The fact that the now temperate and torrid zones are still
infested by men and other beasts is evidence that the cave-dwellers
of the pre-glacial age were a tougher lot than the good old dame had
supposed. In her next attempt she will probably pile on more ice and
give it a superior momentum, at the same time heralding its southward
encroachment with a temperature that will be such a terror as to turn
the citrus belt white in a single night and drive it out altogether.
Having been encouraged by Professor Hayden to nourish anticipations
of an interesting period pregnant with such pleasing possibilities as
these, we are inexpressibly disappointed to have him say, as he does,
that the operation of the great “central changes” to which we are to be
indebted for all this is so slow that it may be a thousand years, or
even longer, before they get to their work with perceptible efficacy.
Of course one must recognize the stern necessity that dominates the
scientific prophet—he has to carry the fulfilment so far into the
future as to avoid the melancholy fate of short-range prophets, like
Zadkiel; and therein we discern the true difference between the
scientist and the impostor.
Nevertheless, in a matter of such pith and moment it would have been
agreeable to be permitted to hope that these fascinating events would
begin to occur in our day, and their author (if one may reverently
venture to call him so) would have done a graceful thing if he had so
far departed from the strictly scientific method as to assure us that
some of us, at least, might reasonably expect to be frozen into the
advancing wall of ice, like the famous Siberian mastodon of blessed
memory, and become objects of interest to the possible Haydens of a
later dispensation. As he has denied us the gratification which he
could so cheaply have given to our curiosity and ambition, one feels
justified in denouncing him as a miscreant and a viper.
THE LOVE OF COUNTY
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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