The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 09: Tangential ViewsBierce, Ambrose
General
The Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, Volume 09: Tangential Views
Bierce, Ambrose
American essays; American literature
Considering the matter only in the limited view of its relation to
military success, we all see, or suppose ourselves to see, that
if Marlborough had died of measles when he was John Churchill; if
Frederick had burst a blood vessel in one of his blind rages before he
became the Great; if Carnot had fallen down a cellar stairway when he
was a boy; if Napoleon had been knocked over at the bridge of Arcola,
or Von Moltke had deserted to the French and been given command of the
column that was headed for Berlin, the historian of to-day would have
had a Europe to deal with which it is impossible now even to conceive.
Suppose that “the hour” had not brought John Sobieski to confront
the victorious Turk a couple of centuries ago. Europe might now be
Mohammedan and the word Russia destitute of meaning. Considerations of
this character may advantageously be permitted to teach us humility in
the matter of prophecy, and particularly with reference to military
undertakings, than the result of which nothing is more beset with
accident and dependent upon the unknowable and incalculable.
MORTUARY ELECTROPLATING
To the proposition that electroplating the dead is the best way to
dispose of them there is this considerable objection—it does not
dispose of them. The plan is not without its advantages, some of which
are obvious enough to mention. Nothing, for example, can be more
satisfactory to a husband engaged in dying than the reflection that
as a nickel-plated statue of himself he may still adorn the conjugal
fireside and become an object of peculiar interest and sympathy to
his successor. There are few remains, indeed, to whom this would not
seem a softer billet than “to lie in cold obstruction” in a cemetery,
from which, after all, one is usually routed out in a few years to
accommodate a corner grocery or a boarding-house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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