Then he said: “No, Johnny, it was a wale, I give you my honor, cross my heart and hope to die, and what I wanted for to pint out is the Bible says Jony was threw up by the wale after bein swollered, but it stands to reason it wasn’t so. No, Johnny, he must have digested and become a part of the wale, for when he was shut up in the stumach of its belly the thought of home and friends would naturly make him blubber.” Then my sister she said: “Any one which falsifys the Scripter and puts his word against a Bible truth to make such a silly joke as that will go where the worm dieth not, so there!” But her young man he said: “Ile take along a early bird and have some fun with that feller.” Jack Brily he was a tellin old Gaffer Peters one day how he was to a mining town, and how he fished down a shaft, with a line 20 hundred feet long. Gaffer he said: “What a whopper, I been to mines my own self, and I know the water in a mine is blazin hot.” Jack said: “Thats what makes it easy for to catch the fish, you only got to use ice cream for bait. Them poor fish is crazy for ice cream.” Then old Gaffer said: “Why, Jack Brily, do you think Ime a iddiot jest cause my hair aint curly like yourn? If there was fish in that water they would be boild.” Jack said: “Thats just it, Gaffer, thats just the idee, cause I dont consider fried fish is fit to eat.” But give me plenty potatos, and mints pies, and peserves, and some do nots, and molasses, and apple dumps, and Ile take them fried and boild too. A other time Jack was a tellin old Gaffer how he was a travelin once when he had been ship wreck and didn’t have nothin for to eat, and bime bi he come to a big lake of oil. So he upped and baited his fish hook and threw in his line, and in a little while he had cetched a wagon load of shads. Gaffer he said: “How could shads live in oil?” Jack he thought a wile, and pretty soon he said: “Thats a fact, Gaffer you have raked me fore and aft. Them fish was sardeens.” And old Gaffer hasnt never got done braggin about how he caught Jack in a lie and made him own up. One time a nigger fell off a ship and the sailors threw him a rope, which he caught, and they was a haulin him up when a shark snapped him in 2. Just then a Southern planter, which was a pasenger, he come on deck and looked over the side of the ship and seen the shark do it. He was xcited and hollered: “It has took your hook boys, it has took your hook! Bring a other one and get a fresh nigger!” Some folks thinks niggers is just as good as white men, cause God made us all in 6 days and was arrested on the 7th. THE POL PATRIOT Uncle Ned he said: “Johnny, do you know about the pol patriot?” I said: “Yessir, it can be tought for to talk, just like gerls, and says, ‘Polly wants a cracker,’ frequent.”