If it were not for these happy devices the antiques now existing in the world would be arbitrarily limited—a condition of things destructive to the wide dissemination of culture and dismaying to the Academy for the Popularization of Antiquities. Fortunately, paintings may be aged without waiting for years to pass over them. One way is to cook them in hot ovens. Another is to take an old, decrepit painting and paint something more interesting on top of it. Or one may take a new painting, cover the back with glue, and paste an old canvas over it. Some of the most experienced antiquers carry little bottles of alcohol in their breast pockets; and when they are investigating a picture with great care, they slyly produce the bottles and surreptitiously pour alcohol over it in order to find out whether or not the colors run. If they run, the picture is new. If they do not run, the picture is old. So, at least, the experts say. The idea is excellent; but happily the dealers have learned that if they cover a painting with a sort of transparent glue, it will resist the action of alcohol and confound the experts. Also, dealers of intelligence have remedied the unkind fate that seemingly limited the work done by Old Masters to the paintings they produced in their lifetimes. What could be simpler and yet more beneficial to the patron than to add the signature of an Old Master to a painting and let the patron discover it for himself? Many of the most priceless Old Masters in existence have reached America in this way, and many a millionaire’s home would be a gloomier place to-day were it not for this simple but pleasure-giving little device. There are certain technical points about antique-collecting in Europe that are easily picked up by the antique-collector in two or three years’ time. Venetian glass, for example, breaks more readily than ordinary glass. When in doubt about a piece of Venetian glass, strike it one inch from the base with a small hammer, using a stroke of fourteen foot-ounces to the square inch. If the glass breaks, it is Venetian. Then there are Capo di Monte saucers, which, when scaled over the surface of a smooth body of water, will skip several times more than an ordinary china saucer. One should pick out a broad lake and scale all questionable saucers over its surface with an under-arm motion. A saucer, if genuine Capo di Monte, should skip at least eight times before sinking. The lake may then be pumped out with a bicycle pump.† ———— † See _From Broad-Axe to Peanut-Roaster_, by Emmet Gilhooly. V OF THE SOURCE OF THE WORM-HOLES IN NEAR-ANTIQUE FURNITURE—OF THE LATEST WORM-HOLE MACHINE—OF THE MODERN METHOD OF PRODUCING ANCIENT WOOD-CARVINGS IN FIVE MINUTES—AND OF THE UNLIMITED FURNITURE OWNED BY MARIE ANTOINETTE