She put her hand on his hand that lay palm downward between them on the seat and that was stretched toward her, not as if it sought her consciously, but in utter helplessness. There was no response in it beyond a nervous quivering that struck through her fingers to her heart. He went on. "It's not as if _he_ had been happy. He wasn't. Couldn't have been." She fell to stroking gently that hand under her own. Its nervous quivering ceased. "You know that funny way he had--the way he used to go poppin' in and out as if he was lookin' for somebody? That's what I can't bear to think of. Like as if he'd wanted something badly and wouldn't let on to anybody about it. Nobody knew what was going on inside him all these years. That's the horrible thing. We ought to have known and we didn't. There he was, poppin' in and out, and he might have been a mile off for all we could get at him. We didn't know anything about him--not reelly." He mused. "That's it. We don't know anything about anybody--ever. I didn't know anything about Virelet--don't know now. I never shall know. Come to that, I don't know anything about you. Nor you about me--reelly." "Oh, Ranny," she whispered. It was her one protest against the agony he was making her share with him. "What do we know about anything? What does it all mean? The whole bloomin' show? The Combined Maze? They shove us into it without our leave. They make us do things we don't want to do and never meant to do. I didn't want to care for Virelet. I wanted to care for you. I didn't want to marry her, nor she me. I didn't mean to. I meant to marry you. But I did care for her, and I did marry her. I don't suppose _he_ wanted to do like he did or ever meant to. And look how he was treated--shoved in--livin' his horrible little life down there--doin' the things he didn't mean--lookin' for things he never got--and then shunted like this, all anyhow, God knows where--before he could put a hand on anything. There's no sense in it. "I wouldn't mind so much if I'd only cared for him. But I didn't. I wanted to--I meant to--but I didn't. There you are again. It's all like that and there's no sense in it." "But you _did_ care, Ran, dear. You're caring now. You couldn't talk like this about him if you didn't care." "No. I'm talkin' like this--because I didn't care. Not a rap. My God! If I thought Stanny would ever feel to me as I felt to my father, I'd go and kill myself." "But he won't, dear. You haven't behaved to him like your father behaved to you," said Winny, calmly. "What do you mean?" "You know what I mean. At any rate, you will know presently when you can look at it as it reelly is. Nobody could have done more for your father than you did. If he'd been the best father in the world you couldn't have done more." "Doin' things is nothing. Besides, I didn't. D'you know, I wouldn't go into his business when he wanted me to? I wouldn't do it, just because I couldn't bear bein' with him all the time. And he knew it."