Sowinska, after Wladek's frequent visits, became more intimate and
friendly with Janina and advised her to sell those parts of her
wardrobe which she did not need, even offering to do it for her.
And so life went on for Janina who was oblivious to everything else
but that performance of Doctor Robin which she awaited with the
greatest impatience. She lived, as it were, in a troubled dream.
Through the prism of dreams the world again appeared brighter to
her, and people kind. She forgot about everything, even about
Glogowski, whose recent letter she laid away only half read, for she
now lived entirely in the future. She fortified herself against the
present with dreams of what was to come.
Furthermore, Janina loved Wladek. She did not know how it had come
about, but she now knew that she could not do without him. She felt
very happy and peaceful, when, leaning on his arm, she walked along
the streets and listened to his low, melodious voice. The soft
velvety glances of his dark eyes made her glow with passion and a
sweet helplessness . . . .
Everything about him attracted her. He appeared so beautiful upon
the stage! He acted with such fervor and lyricism the parts of
unhappy lovers in the melodramas! He spoke, moved about and posed
with such charming simplicity. He was the favorite of the public;
even the press bestowed frequent praises upon him and predicted a
brilliant artistic future for him.
It pleased Janina to see him applauded on the stage. And so
skillfully did he know how to exhibit the resources of his brain,
that he was generally taken for an educated man, while in reality he
possessed only cleverness and the brazenness of a Warsaw loafer and
trickster. Moreover, for Janina he was the first and only man to
whom she had ever surrendered herself. It seemed to her that this
bound them for all time and indissolubly.
It happened, as it were, of itself, after one of the rehearsals of
Doctor Robin in which Wladek acted as a substitute in the role of
"Garrick." When they had left the theater he spoke or rather
declaimed to her about love with a volcanic outburst of passion and
accentuated his emotion with such pathos that he stirred her to the
very depths of her soul. She felt sudden tears of tenderness welling
up in her eyes; and a desire for tremendous happiness through life
and death remained in her dreaming heart. Her whole soul was
absorbed in the desire for love.
Janina did not even know what was happening to her, for she could
not resist the fascination of his voice. That musical pleading of
love, those burning kisses, and those passionate glances flooded her
entire being with an overwhelming and mad desire for joy. She
abandoned herself to him with the passiveness of a fascinated
creature, without a word of protest or resistance, but also without
a consciousness of what she was doing; in a word, she was
hypnotized.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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