"Honest? You'll find out yet for yourself how honest she is."
"Why?" asked Janina, but without curiosity, for it didn't at all
interest her now.
"I will only say this much . . . that she does not love you in the
least, not in the least!"
"That's strange, for I never did her any wrong," answered Janina.
Sowinska's demeanor suddenly changed, for she glanced angrily at
Janina and wanted to say something sharp, but seeing that Janina's
face wore an expression of complete indifference, she refrained and
left the room.
Janina thought about Bukowiec.
"I have no home," she thought, even without bitterness. "The whole
wide world is my home," she added, but suddenly remembered what
Grzesikiewicz had told her about her father and stirred as though
some hidden pain had awakened in her. An uneasiness, not such as
besets one on the eve of some event, but such as one feels on
remembering some good that one has lost forever, filled Janina's
heart. It was the pain of the past like the quiet remembrance of the
dead.
But those memories of Bukowiec and those lonely nights when she
dreamed, forgetting about everything, and created for herself such
wondrous worlds, now flashed upon her mind in all their vividness.
Only the memory of that exuberant and majestic nature, those vast
fields, and those silent glens full of murmurs and bird songs,
verdure, and wild grandeur swathed Janina in melancholy and lulled
her weary soul with its charms.
The woods in which she was reared, those dim depths full of
unspeakable wonders, those gigantic trees to which she was united by
a thousand affinities, outlined themselves in her mind ever more
powerfully. Janina longed for them now and listened through the
nights, for it seemed to her that she heard the grave autumnal
murmur of the forest, the somnolent rustling of its branches. It
seemed that she felt within herself the slow, endless swaying of
those giant trees, the soft motions of the verdure bathed in golden
sunlight, the joyous cry of the birds, the fragrance of the young
pine saplings and juniper bushes the whole leisurely life of nature.
Janina lay for whole hours at a time, without a word, thought, or
motion, for her soul was there in those verdant woods. She wandered
over the meadows covered with wild raspberries and waving grass,
strayed across the fields where the rye grew high like a wood,
swaying and murmuring in the breeze and gleaming with dew in the
sunlight, penetrated the groves full of the pungent smell of the
resin. She followed each road, each boundary, each wood path,
greeted everything that lived there and cried out to the fields,
woods, the hills, and the sky: "I have come! I have come!" smiling
as though she had found a lost happiness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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