"How is that! Are you going to abandon the stage? You who have a big
future before you!"
"I have had more than enough of acting," answered Janina with
bitterness.
"Come now, don't reproach me with it, you know it's your first year
on the stage and they wouldn't give you big roles at once,
anywhere."
"Oh, I am no longer going to try for them."
"And I had already been planning that in Plock you would live
together with us and that would not only make it easier for you, but
my daughter also could derive more benefit from it. Please think it
over and I, on my part, assure you that you will also get roles."
"No, no! I have enough of poverty and have absolutely no more
strength left to bear it any further and, moreover, I cannot, I
cannot . . ." answered Janina quietly, with tears in her eyes, for
that proposal flashed before her mind like the dawn of a better
future and awakened for a moment her old enthusiasm and dreams of
artistic triumph. But immediately she thought of her present
condition and the sufferings that she would have to endure on that
account, so she added with even greater emphasis: "No, I cannot! I
cannot!"
But she could not hold back the tears which continued to stream
quietly down her face until even Cabinska was touched and, drawing
nearer to her, whispered with sincere sympathy, "For God's sake what
is the matter with you? Tell me, perhaps I shall be able to help
you."
In reply Janina blushed faintly, warmly clasped Cabinska's hand, and
hastily left the pastry shop.
Tears were stifling her; life was stifling her.
Immediately afterward Stanislawski came to Janina and urged her to
leave with him for the small provincial towns. He was organizing a
company of from eight to nine persons in which each was to hold a
share. He offered Janina leading roles and spoke in glowing terms of
the certain success that awaited them in the provincial towns. He
enumerated all those whom he was engaging: all young people and
novices, full of energy, zeal, and talent. And he promised himself
that he would lead them along the path of true art, that his company
would be in the nature of a school for drama and that he would be a
real teacher and father, who would make of these people true artists
worthy of the theater and its traditions.
Janina refused Stanislawski briefly. She thanked him heartily for
the kindness he had shown her during the summer and took leave of
him cordially, as though forever.
When he had gone, she determined finally to end it all. She had not
yet told herself decisively: "I will die!" So far, if someone had
told her that she was contemplating suicide she would have denied it
sincerely, but already that thought and desire were lurking in the
subconscious depths of her mind.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account