"Now please listen to what I have to say! I want to tell you that
your comedy not only wearies me, but is beginning to anger me. I am
still too little a hysterical actress and too much a normal woman to
take pleasure in such acting. I was never taught by my mother, the
secret code of a woman's conduct toward a man, nor did they warn me
of man's falsehood and baseness. I observed that quickly enough for
myself, and see it every day behind the scenes. You think that to
every woman who is in the theater you can boldly talk about your
love as though it were some trifle, in the hope that perhaps she
will swallow your bait! Actresses are so playful and so silly,
aren't they?" she said with stinging scorn. "Would you dare to tell
me the same, if I were at home? No, you wouldn't dare tell me you
loved me, if you didn't, for there, I would be a woman in your eyes,
while here I am only an actress; for there, I would have behind me a
father, mother, brothers or some convention which would prohibit you
from many things. But here, you don't hesitate. And why? Because
here I am alone and an actress, that is a woman to whom you can with
impunity tell lies, whom you can with impunity possess and then cast
off and go your way without the slightest fear of losing your
reputation. Oh, you can be sure, Mr. Kotlicki, that I will not
become your mistress, nor any other man's if I do not love him! I
have already thought much, too much, about the matter to be deceived
by fine phrases!" She spoke rapidly, and her sharp words fell like
blows.
He trembled with impatience and gazed on her in amazement. He did
not know her, and had not assumed for a moment that he would find an
actress who would tell him such things to his face. He gazed at her
through half-closed eyes, and stammered ever more frequently, so
immensely did he like her for her courage. She fascinated him by her
strength of character and honesty, for by those words she had
spoken, by her face which faithfully reflected all her inner
feelings, and by the sincere tones of her voice he began to perceive
that she was an honest and uncommon girl; and in addition she was so
beautiful!
"The whip was rawhide with leaden weights at the end of it. You beat
with a womanly fury both the guilty and the innocent," said
Kotlicki, and seeing that Janina did not answer he added after a
while, "Is this not enough for you? If it would be possible during
that entire flagellation to kiss your hands, I beg you to
continue . . ."
"Kotlicki! . . . Wait a minute there and help us carry the
baskets! . . ." called Wawrzecki.
The men carried the baskets with the provisions, while the whole
company walked along the steep river bank, seeking a convenient spot
for a camping ground.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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