PAR. Aye, aye, I warrant you That you have often wish'd to be in Athens; Often repented of your journey. PHI. Oh, 'Tis quite impossible to tell how much I long'd to be at home, how much I long'd To leave the Captain, see you, revel with you, After the good old fashion, free and easy. For there I durst not speak a single word, But what, and when the mighty Captain pleas'd. PAR. 'Twas cruel in him thus to tie your tongue: At least, I'll warrant, that you thought it so. PHI. But what's this business, Parmeno? this story That Bacchis has been telling me within? I could not have believ'd that Pamphilus Would in her lifetime marry. PAR. Marry truly! PHI. Why he is married: is not he? PAR. He is. But I'm afraid 'twill prove a crazy match, And will not hold together long. PHI. Heav'n grant it. So it turn out to Bacchis's advantage! But how can I believe this, Parmeno? Tell me. PAR. It is not fit it should be told. Inquire no more. PHI. For fear I should divulge it? Now Heav'n so prosper me, as I inquire, Not for the sake of telling it again, But to rejoice within myself. PAR. All these Fair words, Philotis, sha'n't prevail on me To trust my back to your discretion. PHI. Well; Don't tell me, Parmeno.--As if you had not Much rather tell this secret than I hear it. PAR. She's in the right: I am a blab, 'tis true, It is my greatest failing.--Give your word You'll not reveal it, and I'll tell you. PHI. Now You're like yourself again. I give my word. Speak. PAR. Listen then. PHI. I'm all ear. PAR. Pamphilus Doted on Bacchis still as much as ever, When the old gentleman began to tease him To marry, in the common cant of fathers; --"That he was now grown old; and Pamphilus His only child; and that he long'd for heirs, As props of his old age." At first my master Withstood his instances, but as his father Became more hot and urgent, Pamphilus Began to waver in his mind, and felt A conflict betwixt love and duty in him. At length, by hammering on marriage still, And daily instances, th' old man prevail'd, And made a match with our next neighbor's daughter. Pamphilus did not take it much to heart, Till just upon the very brink of wedlock: But when he saw the nuptial rites prepar'd, And, without respite, he must many; then It came so home to him, that even Bacchis, Had she been present, must have pitied him. Whenever he could steal from company, And talk to me alone,--"Oh Parmeno, What have I done?" he'd cry.--"I'm lost forever. Into what ruin have I plung'd myself! I can not bear it, Parmeno. Ah wretch! I am undone." PHI. Now all the powers of heav'n Confound you, Laches, for thus teasing him? PAR. In short, he marries, and brings home his wife. The first night he ne'er touch'd her! nor the next. PHI. How! he a youth, and she a maidenhead! Tipsy, and never touch her! 'Tis not likely; Nor do I think it can be true. PAR. No wonder. For they that come to you come all desire: But he was bound to her against his will.