MEN. When they had gone into {the room}, they shut the door. CHREM. Well-- did Clinia see {all} this going on? MEN. How shouldn’t he? He was with me. CHREM. Bacchis is my son’s mistress, Menedemus-- I’m undone. MEN. Why so? CHREM. I have hardly substance to suffice for ten days.[94] MEN. What! are you alarmed at it, because he is paying attention to his friend? CHREM. His “she-friend” rather.[95] MEN. If he {really} is paying it. CHREM. Is it a matter of doubt to you? Do you suppose that there is any person of so accommodating and tame a spirit as to suffer his own mistress, himself looking on, to-- MEN. (_chuckling and speaking ironically._) Why not? That I may be imposed upon the more easily. CHREM. Do you laugh at me? You have good reason. How angry I now am with myself! How many things gave {proof}, whereby, had I not been a stone, I might have been fully sensible {of this}? What was it I saw? Alas! wretch that I am! But assuredly they shall not escape my vengeance if I live; for this instant-- MEN. Can you not contain yourself? Have you no respect for yourself? Am I not a sufficient example to you? CHREM. For {very} anger, Menedemus, I am not myself. MEN. For you to talk in that manner! Is it not a shame for you to be giving advice to others, to show wisdom abroad {and yet} be able to do nothing for yourself? CHREM. What shall I do? MEN. That which you said I failed to do: make him sensible that you are his father; make him venture to intrust every thing to you, to seek and to ask of you; so that he may look for no other resources and forsake you.[96] CHREM. Nay, I had much rather he would go any where in the world, than by his debaucheries here reduce his father to beggary! For if I go on supplying his extravagance, Menedemus, in that case my circumstances will undoubtedly be {soon} reduced to the level of your rake. MEN. What evils you will bring upon yourself in this affair, if you don’t act with caution! You’ll show yourself severe, and still pardon him at last; that too with an ill grace. CHREM. Ah! you don’t know how vexed I am. MEN. Just as you please. What about that which I desire-- that she may be married to my {son}? Unless there is any other step that you would prefer. CHREM. On the contrary, both the son-in-law and the connection are to my taste. MEN. What portion shall I say that you have named for your daughter? Why are you silent? CHREM. Portion? MEN. I say so. CHREM. Alas! MEN. Chremes, don’t be at all afraid {to speak}, if it is but a small one. The portion is no consideration at all with us. CHREM. I did think that two talents were sufficient, according to my means. But if you wish me to be saved, and my estate and my son, you must say to this effect, that I have settled all my property on her as her portion. MEN. What scheme are you upon? CHREM. Pretend that you wonder at this, and at the same time ask him the reason why I do so.