The Comedies of William Congreve: Volume 1 [of 2]Congreve, William
General
The Comedies of William Congreve: Volume 1 [of 2]
Congreve, William
Comedy plays
I know what she means by toying away an hour well enough. Pox, I have
lost all appetite to her; yet she's a fine woman, and I loved her once.
But I don't know: since I have been in a great measure kept by her, the
case is altered; what was my pleasure is become my duty, and I have as
little stomach to her now as if I were her husband. Should she smoke my
design upon Cynthia, I were in a fine pickle. She has a damned
penetrating head, and knows how to interpret a coldness the right way;
therefore I must dissemble ardour and ecstasy; that's resolved. How
easily and pleasantly is that dissembled before fruition! Pox on't that
a man can't drink without quenching his thirst. Ha! yonder comes
Mellefont, thoughtful. Let me think. Meet her at eight--hum--ha! By
heav'n I have it.--If I can speak to my lord before. Was it my brain or
providence? No matter which--I will deceive 'em all, and yet secure
myself. 'Twas a lucky thought! Well, this double-dealing is a jewel.
Here he comes, now for me. [MASKWELL, _pretending not to see him_,
_walks by him_, _and speaks as it were to himself_.]
SCENE IV.
[_To him_] MELLEFONT, _musing_.
MASK. Mercy on us, what will the wickedness of this world come to?
MEL. How now, Jack? What, so full of contemplation that you run over?
MASK. I'm glad you're come, for I could not contain myself any longer,
and was just going to give vent to a secret, which nobody but you ought
to drink down. Your aunt's just gone from hence.
MEL. And having trusted thee with the secrets of her soul, thou art
villainously bent to discover 'em all to me, ha?
MASK. I'm afraid my frailty leans that way. But I don't know whether I
can in honour discover 'em all.
MEL. All, all, man! What, you may in honour betray her as far as she
betrays herself. No tragical design upon my person, I hope.
MASK. No, but it's a comical design upon mine.
MEL. What dost thou mean?
MASK. Listen and be dumb; we have been bargaining about the rate of your
ruin--
MEL. Like any two guardians to an orphan heiress. Well?
MASK. And whereas pleasure is generally paid with mischief, what
mischief I do is to be paid with pleasure.
MEL. So when you've swallowed the potion you sweeten your mouth with a
plum.
MASK. You are merry, sir, but I shall probe your constitution. In
short, the price of your banishment is to be paid with the person of--
MEL. Of Cynthia and her fortune. Why, you forget you told me this
before.
MASK. No, no. So far you are right; and I am, as an earnest of that
bargain, to have full and free possession of the person of--your aunt.
MEL. Ha! Pho, you trifle.
MASK. By this light, I'm serious; all raillery apart. I knew 'twould
stun you. This evening at eight she will receive me in her bedchamber.
MEL. Hell and the devil, is she abandoned of all grace? Why, the woman
is possessed.
MASK. Well, will you go in my stead?
MEL. By heav'n, into a hot furnace sooner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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