The Comedies of William Congreve: Volume 1 [of 2]Congreve, William
General
The Comedies of William Congreve: Volume 1 [of 2]
Congreve, William
Comedy plays
CARE. Excessively foolish! But that which gives me most hopes of her is
her telling me of the many temptations she has resisted.
MEL. Nay, then you have her; for a woman's bragging to a man that she
has overcome temptations is an argument that they were weakly offered,
and a challenge to him to engage her more irresistibly. 'Tis only an
enhancing the price of the commodity, by telling you how many customers
have underbid her.
CARE. Nay, I don't despair. But still she has a grudging to you. I
talked to her t'other night at my Lord Froth's masquerade, when I'm
satisfied she knew me, and I had no reason to complain of my reception;
but I find women are not the same bare-faced and in masks, and a vizor
disguises their inclinations as much as their faces.
MEL. 'Tis a mistake, for women may most properly be said to be unmasked
when they wear vizors; for that secures them from blushing and being out
of countenance, and next to being in the dark, or alone, they are most
truly themselves in a vizor mask. Here they come: I'll leave you. Ply
her close, and by and by clap a _billet doux_ into her hand; for a woman
never thinks a man truly in love with her, till he has been fool enough
to think of her out of her sight, and to lose so much time as to write to
her.
SCENE VI.
CARELESS, SIR PAUL, _and_ LADY PLYANT.
SIR PAUL. Shan't we disturb your meditation, Mr. Careless? You would be
private?
CARE. You bring that along with you, Sir Paul, that shall be always
welcome to my privacy.
SIR PAUL. O sweet sir, you load your humble servants, both me and my
wife, with continual favours.
LADY PLYANT. Sir Paul, what a phrase was there? You will be making
answers, and taking that upon you which ought to lie upon me. That you
should have so little breeding to think Mr. Careless did not apply
himself to me. Pray what have you to entertain anybody's privacy? I
swear and declare in the face of the world I'm ready to blush for your
ignorance.
SIR PAUL. I acquiesce, my lady; but don't snub so loud. [_Aside to
her_.]
LADY PLYANT. Mr. Careless, if a person that is wholly illiterate might
be supposed to be capable of being qualified to make a suitable return to
those obligations, which you are pleased to confer upon one that is
wholly incapable of being qualified in all those circumstances, I'm sure
I should rather attempt it than anything in the world, [_Courtesies_] for
I'm sure there's nothing in the world that I would rather. [_Courtesies_]
But I know Mr. Careless is so great a critic, and so fine a gentleman,
that it is impossible for me--
CARE. O heavens! madam, you confound me.
SIR PAUL. Gads-bud, she's a fine person.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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