Says I, "Dear Miss, such barefaced cheats Are really past a joke; So give me my umbrella, ma'am— And give me, ma'am, my cloak. "Not that I care—of course, I don't— For losing so much gold!"— "Your cloak and your umbrella, Sir! Oh la! they've both been sold!" At that I lost my patience quite; My rage I couldn't smother. "Good heav'ns!" I cried, "the last dear gifts Of a lamented mother!" I rav'd and stamp'd, and _think_ I swore. Cried Miss, "For heaven's sake, cease!" And then she gave me—heartless girl!— In charge of the police. To prison soon they haul'd me off, With pushes, shoves, and jolts; And soon I found Dame Justice' bars Were worse than Cupid's bolts. Now all who read my sad mishaps, Of nymphs like these beware! For oh! there's many a _real cheat_ Found at a _fancy fair_. And if you want your money's worth, With honest traders barter; For if to marts like these you go, You'll surely be a martyr. [Illustration: AUGUST.—Regatta. ] ┌──┬──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ │[Illustration] AUGUST. │ ├──┴──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤ │ The postboys clatter to the door, │ │ Whips cracking and spurs pricking; │ │ The hero who went up at four │ │ Came down at five, alive and kicking. │ │ Below is a special communication │ │ From a private source, to inform the nation. │ ├──┬────────────────────────────────────────────────────┬─────────────┤ │D.│ =Great Events and Odd Matters.= │ _Prognosti- │ │ │ │ fications._ │ ├──┼────────────────────────────────────────────────────┼─────────────┤ │ 1│Charles X. abdic. 1830. New issue of Sovereigns. │ │ │ │ │ if he would │ │ 2│ │ │ │ │ │ _look for_ │ │ 3│ THE BALLOON ASCENT. │ │ │ │ │ _sunshine_, │ │ 4│ "_Only threepence more, and up goes the Donkey._" │ │ │ │ │ ♅ ♀ ♌ │ │ 5│Dear Captain! let me thank my lucky fate │ │