The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
"Oh! how I _do_ love the country!" exclaimed Miss Arabella, as soon as
she had established herself in my dry shoes; "the sky, the water, the
trees, how delightful!" I felt as if I could have hugged her. My taste
to a T.
"And there! there's a spectacle! that lovely _rainbow_!" I felt as if I
could have committed homicide upon the provoking creature, and clenched
my walking-stick umbrella with the force of a maniac. On came the
rainbow; clap went the thunder; down poured the rain—cats and dogs,
puppies and _kitlings_. All eyes were turned upon me reproachfully. Up
went umbrellas and parasols; out came cloaks and Mackintoshes. An air of
triumph seemed to pervade the company as they remarked that there were
no means of shelter left for me. I let them enjoy their triumph for a
while, and then I quietly unscrewed the top of my walking-stick
umbrella. My walking-stick umbrella, did I say? Alas! I had brought my
bamboo telescope instead.
Young Ariel Hicks, a young gentleman of fifteen years of age, and as
many stones weight, now offered me a share of his parapluie; but, as
Hicks was only four feet two inches in height, and I stood five feet ten
in my shoes (or rather, in Miss Arabella's), I was soon tired of doing
penance in the form of a letter S, and boldly declared my utter contempt
for all kinds of showers, and thunder-showers in particular. What made
our situation still more provoking, was the presence of an opposition
pic-nic party in the adjoining field, cosily enjoying themselves under a
waterproof tent, from the entrance of which a grinning face would every
now and then peep out, evidently in high glee at our miserable
appearance. The weather getting clear, it was proposed to have a ramble
among the green trees: but the Dryads and Hamadryads turning out to be
anything but what their name imported, we were glad to escape from their
dripping bowers with all possible speed. Hungry as wolves, and shivering
with cold, we now addressed ourselves to Mrs. Timon Duggins, who had
undertaken to be purveyor to the whole party. Mrs. Timon Duggins was as
hungry as we. But where was "Mr. Gunterses young man?—Mr. Gunterses
young man, that she (Mrs. D.) had ordered to be on the ground punctually
at two o'clock?" Echo, and several of the young ladies and gentlemen
answered "Where?" But still Mr. Gunter's young man appeared not. At last
Mrs. Timon Duggins, employing one end of her spectacles as an eye-glass,
exclaimed, "Why, there he is!" and there, sure enough, we saw him,
standing with his baskets on his arm, watching the departure of the
rival party, who were merrily sailing down the river to the tune of the
Canadian Boat Song, sung by the whole strength of the company. The young
jackal was soon summoned, and bid to spread the repast: but what was our
horror on learning that he had mistaken the rival party for ours, and
suffered them to eat up all our provisions. Half dead with cold and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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