Delight of young and old, of great and small! Tho' of each grosser passion thou'rt the slave, Albeit thou'rt rake and rogue, and thief and knave, Of ev'ry grace and goodness quite bereft, With not a virtue to redeem thee left; Spite of thy faults, oh, PUNCH! we love thee all! And hence thy Wooden Worship dost impart A moral sound to every conscious heart: Thou show'st us, PUNCH, that we're not over-nice When wit and humour are allied to vice. But as thy close acquaintance brings hard knocks On wooden blocks,— So, if we'd 'scape a world of awkward trouble, Whene'er in real life we meet thy double (And rogues of thews and sinews, flesh and blood, Are not so harmless quite as those of wood), Let us observe this rule,—this prudent plan— _Enjoy the humour, but avoid the man_. AN ADVENTURE OF A GUY. In days gone by, ere "George the Third was king," Or men had heard the names of Burke or Swing, Lived an old hunks in London's famous city, Who had a niece, fair, buxom, wise, and witty. And this fair maiden, being past fifteen, Had got a lover—young Alonzo Green— A youth of goodly parts and handsome mien. But, as Alonzo was extremely poor, Old hunks had in his face banged-to the door; And ever after, that his niece might be More safe, he kept her under lock and key. But still they corresponded—thro' the means Of an old woman who sold herbs and greens: And thus the lovers planned to run away, And get them married one Gunpowder Day. Alonzo was to come disguised as Guy; And while the mummers played their mummery, A _real_ Guy was to be deftly placed Within the chair, while he ran off in haste To hide him till old hunks was fast asleep; When thro' the garden window they could creep, And, down a silken ladder gently gliding, Soon find some happy bower for love to hide in. So said, so done (in those days men would vie Who best should entertain the loyal Guy: All else got mobbed as friends of popery): The mummers were admitted, Guys exchanged, And everything was done as pre-arranged. Now all is still: old hunks locks up the house: Alonzo lies as quiet as a mouse: When lo! he hears a step upon the floor— And then, old hunks arrives—and locks the door. [Illustration: The Gunpowder Plot or Guys in Council. ]