The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
O Eliza! your Susan is the happiest girl under heaven! My Thomas is an
angel! not a tall grenadier-like looking fellow, such as I always vowed
I would marry:—on the contrary, he is what the world would call dumpy,
and I hesitate not to confess that his eyes have a cast in them. But
what then? when one of his eyes is fixed on me, and one on my babe, they
are lighted up with an affection which my pen cannot describe, and
which, certainly, was never bestowed upon any woman so strongly as upon
your happy Susan Stubbs.
When he comes home from shooting, or the farm, if you _could_ see dear
Thomas with me and our dear little Bob! as I sit on one knee, and baby
on the other, and as he dances us both about. I often wish that we had
Sir Joshua, or some great painter, to depict the group; for sure it is
the prettiest picture in the whole world, to see three such loving merry
people.
Dear baby is the most lovely little creature that _can possibly be_,—the
very _image_ of papa; he is cutting his teeth, and the delight of
_everybody_. Nurse says, that when he is older, he will get rid of his
squint, and his hair will get a _great deal_ less red. Doctor Bates is
as kind, and skilful, and attentive as we could desire. Think what a
blessing to have had him! Ever since poor baby's birth, it has never had
a day of quiet; and he has been obliged to give it from three to four
doses every week;—how thankful ought we to be that the _dear thing_ is
as well as it is! It got through the measles wonderfully; then it had a
little rash; and then a nasty hooping cough; and then a fever, and
continual pains in its poor little stomach, crying, poor dear child,
from morning till night.
But dear Tom is an excellent nurse; and many and many a night has he had
no sleep, dear man! in consequence of the poor little baby. He walks up
and down with it _for hours_, singing a kind of song (dear fellow, he
has no more voice than a tea-kettle), and bobbing his head backwards and
forwards, and looking, in his night-cap and dressing-gown, _so droll_.
Oh, Eliza! how you would laugh to see him.
We have one of the best nursemaids _in the world_,—an Irishwoman, who is
as fond of baby almost as his mother (but that can _never be_). She
takes it to walk in the Park for hours together, and I really don't know
why Thomas dislikes her. He says she is tipsy very often, and slovenly,
which I cannot conceive;—to be sure, the nurse is sadly dirty, and
sometimes smells very strong of gin.
But what of that? These little drawbacks only make home more pleasant.
When one thinks how many mothers have no nursemaids; how many poor dear
children have no doctors: ought we not to be thankful for Mary Malowney,
and that Dr. Bates's bill is forty-seven pounds? How ill must dear baby
have been, to require so much physic!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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