The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
i am sory to say, in anser to yure lofeing letter, that we are all like
to want bred, for i have gained my law sute quite sattisfactury, witch
it greves me the more that hou tell me the rufe of the cottige is
tumbled in for the lawyers say it is now mine for me and my hares for
ever witch i fere you have all got wet skins, but it is a comfurt i
follered my sute, so you shall here the upshot of my downfal witch is
this—arter the big wig in the big hall had givd it aginst me my lawyers
sed if i had any money left i shud vindickit the law and stand up for my
famley and my rites so with no more seremony sais he ile cary it afore
the lords—so arter a long time it cum to my turn afore all the parlyment
howse—thinks i wen the nobs ears it all the hares of there heds will
stand on end; so i went to the great place were all the lords, as i
thote, was all awating for me, wen dash me if there was but too fat old
fellers aslepe—(i thote i shud see 2 dosin,) and the same judg as eard
about it afore—blest if i arnt done thinks i—so wen my countsillers got
up and told it agen he nodded his hed evry now and then, seemmily to say
its all rite, for my part i cudnt elp crien wen i herd ow ill ide been
used: but eather becos he had a bigger wig on than afore or becos he was
aslepe like the others, he givd it all on my side this time, so my
lawyers sed i was a lucky feller and they wanted sum more mony from me,
but as i ad no more to give em they put me in this plase its calld the
Fleet tho its not a ship board tho they say its very much among the
knavey. But now ime in for it and can't get out unles i can melt the
arts of the lawyers, witch they say is verry ard, xcept by the solvent
act. Won cumfort heres plenty of gude satiety, moastly jentilmen, and
non so bad off as begars and balot singers tho they seem in a staite of
universle sufferige. Dere Molly, if the wals is tumbil'd down its no use
to mind your rexpextabilaty, but think of leafing in the spring for i
fere it will be too hairy for the heds of the children witch they have
always been used to a thatch, and sel the stiks and send me the munny if
its ever so little its ofe yure mind, as i say to miself wen i lye awak
a nites for i cant get no slepe for thinking of yew and the piggs, witch
i wish we wos all in the churchyard for its verry cold and ive no fire
witch is grately dettrementil to my rest. Ive jist eard of a fine plase
cauld the Swan, were i shal hop to get wen i cum out, were theres no law
nor lawyers nor cottiges nor law-sutes nor no nothin but jist the world
afore us to do as we like, and if there's rume ile send for yew and the
children arter. So no moar your affeckshinate husban,
JILES JOGGINS.
[Illustration:
An Appeal Case.
Cold, without.
]
[Illustration:
"Who are you?"
Rumi-nation.
]
[Illustration:
"The Master's Report."
A _Tail_ of a Chancery Suit.
]
FEBRUARY.—CUTTING WEATHER.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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