The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and OdditiesThackeray, William Makepeace
Philosophy
The Comic Almanack, Volume 1: An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Almanacs, English -- England -- London; English wit and humor
You must know that very soon after my adventure with Miss Crutty, and
that cowardly ruffian, Captain Waters (he sailed the day after his
insult to me, or I should most certainly have blown his brains out;
_now_ he is living in England, and is my relation; but, of course, I cut
the fellow). Very soon after these painful events another happened,
which ended, too, in a sad disappointment. My dear papa died, and
instead of leaving five thousand pounds as I expected, at the very
least, left only his estate, which was worth but two. The land and house
were left to me; to mamma and my sisters he left, to be sure, a sum of
two thousand pounds in the hands of that eminent firm, Messrs. Pump,
Aldgate, and Co., which failed within six months after his demise; and
paid in five years about one shilling and ninepence in the pound; which
really was all my dear mother and sisters had to live upon.
The poor creatures were quite unused to money matters; and, would you
believe it? when the news came of Pump and Aldgate's failure, mamma only
smiled, and threw her eyes up to Heaven, and said, "Blessed be God, that
we have still wherewithal to live: there are tens of thousands in this
world, dear children, who would count our poverty riches." And with this
she kissed my two sisters, who began to blubber, as girls always will
do, and threw their arms round her neck, and then round my neck, until I
was half stifled with their embraces, and slobbered all over with their
tears.
"Dearest mamma," said I, "I am very glad to see the noble manner in
which you bear your loss; and more still to know that you are so rich as
to be able to put up with it." The fact was, I really thought the old
lady had got a private hoard of her own, as many of them have—a thousand
pounds or so in a stocking. Had she put by thirty pounds a year, as well
she might, for the thirty years of her marriage, there would have been
nine hundred pounds clear, and no mistake. But still I was angry to
think that any such paltry concealment had been practised—concealment
too of _my_ money; so I turned on her pretty sharply, and continued my
speech. "You say, ma'am, that you are rich, and that Pump and Aldgate's
failure has no effect upon you. I am very happy to hear you say so,
ma'am—very happy that you _are_ rich; and I should like to know where
your property, my father's property, for you had none of your own,—I
should like to know where this money lies—_where you have concealed it_,
ma'am, and permit me to say, that when I agreed to board you and my two
sisters for eighty pounds a year, I did not know that you had _other_
resources than those mentioned in my blessed father's will."
This I said to her because I hated the meanness of concealment, not
because I lost by the bargain of boarding them, for the three poor
things did not eat much more than sparrows; and I've often since
calculated that I had a clear twenty pounds a year profit out of them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account