Well, here's a fine beginning all along of these here Harveys; Sure-ly they're getting the whip-hand of all us honest jarvies; To rob us of our fare is like depriving us of vittle, And giving us no meat to cut, but leaving us a Whittle. The watermen are all in tears,—it's fitting you should know, That the stopping of our going is to them a tale of "Wo;" And the 'osses stands, quite sad to see, besides the crib in vain, And wonders whether they shall ever taste a bit again. Now they're gettin' out of natur, for their raws is all a healing, And soon they'll be onsenseless brutes, without a bit of feeling. Or else they'll pine away so fast, the knackers scarce will skin 'em, For they miss the bits of thrashing just to keep the life within 'em, And the cuts that makes 'em lively, arter waiting in the street, For 'tis but being on the stand that keeps 'em on their feet. Now, blow'd if I can understand this here licensious day. Unless it means the taking all our licence quite away. And then, again, for characters, how very hard they use 'em, Both them as vainly strive to find, and those who'd gladly lose 'em. The cads look quite cadaverous, to think there's such a fuss At their stepping from the treadmill, to the step behind a 'bus. But here's the greatest grief, and sure it makes one choke to put on A libel to one's neck, just like cheap cag-mag-scrag of mutton; There's nothing stares us in the face but rueful ruination, So there's my ticket, and I'll seek some more genteel vocation. 7. Jerusalem demolished by Titus, A.D. 70. [Illustration: _Land Sharks and Sea Gulls._ ] [Illustration] Old Isaac's so given to bite us, In bargains whenever we meet, That I wish we'd a similar Titus To batter down Holywell Street. 23. College of Physicians incorporated, 1518. 'Twere fair revenge to give no quarter, But pound the doctors in their mortar. SEPTEMBER.—PLUCKING A GOOSE. After my papa's death, as he left me no money, and only a little land, I put my estate into an auctioneer's hands, and determined to amuse my solitude with a trip to some of our fashionable watering-places. My house was now a desert to me. I need not say how the departure of my dear parent, and her children, left me sad and lonely. Well, I had a little ready money, and, for the estate, expected a couple of thousand pounds. I had a good military-looking person; for though I had absolutely cut the old North-Bungays (indeed, after my affair with Waters, Colonel Craw hinted to me, in the most friendly manner, that I had better resign), though I had left the army, I still retained the rank of Captain; knowing the advantages attendant upon that title, in a watering-place tour.