FEBRUARY 9.—An elderly "Signer of Fives," who has, for thirty years past, walked from Walworth to the Bank, without picking up one new idea by the way, hearing that a deputation of paper-makers had applied to Mr. Murphy for a little more rain to make their wheels go round, exclaimed, "Don't tell me, they never can need it; have I not wanted my umbrella every morning for above a week?" MARCH 15.—The City Forensic Club applied to the Court of Aldermen for a contribution; the grant was opposed by one of the Court, on the ground that they could have nothing to spare for any Foreign-sick Society while there was so much illness at home. The same gentleman thought it his duty to inform the Court, that there was a report on 'Change of an alarming rise in Sperma-City. He said he had been taken from school so long ago, that he had forgotten its locality, and requested the Remembrancer to remind him. That learned gentleman, after referring to a map, said he could not exactly find the place, but he believed it was somewhere in Wales. APRIL 1.—At the annual meeting of the Humane Society, medals were offered for the quickest method of putting disappointed authors out of their misery—for the means of supplying aldermen, at city feasts, with hot dinners, and—for the best plan for relieving the baronets from the agonies they are suffering, on account of their neglected claims. MAY 15.—_Legacy extraordinary._—A poor old woman, living at Clapham, a few weeks ago, was given over by the doctor. Her only anxiety was for her grandson, a scapegrace lad whom she had brought up, and of whom she was the only relative. He had been placed under the care of a neighbouring waggoner, and the man was sent for. "Thomas," said the old woman, "I feel that I'm not long here, and I fear for Dick when I'm gone. He's a wild lad, and I've nothing to leave him, but I hope you'll look after him,"—the man nodded assent,—"and try to make a good lad of him,"—nod—"and do your duty by him,"—nod again,—"and now and then _do give him a cut or two_!" The authorities at Somerset House have not yet been troubled to fix the duty payable on this bequest. JUNE 15.—The following advertisement having appeared in the daily papers, "FOUND—The wig and gown of a barrister _unknown_," the place of reference was next day blocked up with applicants answering the description. JULY 21.—Lord Durham, in the midst of the cares of his government, has not been unmindful of the promotion of science. Among other of his original projects was one for exporting Canada geese, and domesticating them in the Bermudas. It was discovered, however, that the attempt was not likely to succeed, since his Lordship, though he might send them, could not make them stay there. AUGUST 9.—The recent default in Clerkenwell parish has been the cause of the following notice on the Church doors:—"The inhabitants are requested to remember when their taxes were collected, or they will be recollected."