Just at the moment before the little bell rings, and the curtain flies up, and we scuffle off to the sides (for we always stay till the very last moment), I was in the middle of the stage, making myself very affable to the fair figgerantys which was spinning and twirling about me, and asking them if they wasn't cold, and such like politeness, in the most condescending way possible, when a bolt was suddenly withdrawn, and down I popped, through a trap in the stage, into the place below. Luckily, I was stopped by a piece of machinery, consisting of a heap of green blankets, and a young lady coming up as Venus rising from the sea. If I had not fallen so soft, I don't know what might have been the consequence of the collusion. I never told Mrs. Coxe, for she can't bear to hear of my paying the least attention to the fair sex. [Illustration: JUNE—Striking a balance. ] [Illustration] GAME IN SEASON. 2. Epsom Races.—"Surrey for the Field." [Illustration: Death of Desdemona. Foul—from the Moor. ] [Sidenote: How hard to bear-o, ♌ ♄ ☿ ♒ Faro that's unfair-o.] [Illustration: High game. ] ROULETTE AT EPSOM.—TENT SCENE. I'm very ill; my circulation halts I' the blood; Soh! shall I take a dose of Epsom salts, Or forego Epsom salts for Epsom races? I chose the trip before the physic-sipping, And very prettily I paid for tripping! "Start fair," I cried,—I'd often started fowl Out of the Moors,—but then I _did_ start fair: The Course of course I reach'd, and cheek by jowl Was standing with my _betters_, gazing there At a horse winning at his jockey's beck, As felons win the gallows—_by a neck_! "Tak tent!" the Scotchman says, that's "look about," But, "take care _of the tent_," he should have said: I went within, and wish I'd gone without A stake, or had a good rump-steak instead; But I _had_ cash, and having made a set At them, and they at me, slap at Roulette. And if 'twas _natural_ to have gone within, I soon discovered it was very _flat_: A sovereign good for me it would have been If I had had no sovereigns,—_verbum sat_! I lost!—and took no _note_ when all was done, Except a note of how much they had won! I cannot say they were a _dirty_ set, Because they _clean'd me_ so completely out; A bout like this of Epsom Downs' roulette Teaches a mortal what he _is_ about. Cheating _is_ physic.—While the game's alive It empties pockets if it _doesn't_ thrive! 5. =Boniface=, (first Alderman of Port-soken?) [Illustration: Cordial reception. Caught in his own gin. ] 12. Mr. Wakley declared, that Gin was his best friend—it was equal to 1000 inquests a year.